Movie Review: La La Land (PG13 – 128 minutes)

Far and away, the awards-season juggernaut this year is Damien Chazelle’s La La Land.  Billed as an original modern musical that tells a love story between a young jazz pianist and an aspiring actress in modern Los Angeles, it has, to date, been somewhat unstoppable. It was nominated for seven Golden Globes and won all seven.

La La Land opens with a spectacular song and dance number (Another Day Of Sun) executed on one of Los Angeles’s many backed up highways choreographed by the brilliant Mandy Moore.  It is a very catchy tune, and the bright colors and fantastic dancing can really suck you into the story.  Essentially it sets up the ‘idea’ of Los Angeles as the place people come to attempt to ‘make it’ in the entertainment industry.  The number also introduces us to the two main characters in the movie, Sebastian and Mia.  Mia is sitting in her car running her lines for an audition and Sebastian honks at her as he moves around her. I say the two “main characters”, which is a bit of a misnomer since they are really the only two characters in the movie. 

We follow Mia to her audition and quickly learn she’s been doing this for a while, and is growing tired of the audition process while working at the coffee shop on the Warner Brothers backlot.  We then follow her home where her roommates talk her into going out to a Hollywood party.  

Underwhelmed at the party, Mia leaves, only to find that her car has been towed.  As she is walking, she enters a club where she sees Sebastian playing piano.

The movie then jumps back to the encounter on the highway and we follow Sebastian to sit in front of a Samba/Tapas restaurant that used to be a jazz club, and back to his apartment where his sister has broken in and is insisting on setting him up with someone, and then forcing some quick character development on us by telling us how much he is obsessed with jazz. We follow him to the club Mia will later spot him at, and learn that he was recently fired by the owner because it is Christmas time, and instead of playing Christmas standards, Sebastian is playing his own jazz.  The owner has agreed to give him one more chance, but he wanders off the set-list again, playing his own number when Mia walks in and spots him.  He leaves after getting fired again, brushing past Mia as she was about to speak to him.

We then follow the two of them around a bit until they run into one another at yet another party.  Sebastian is playing keyboards with what seems to be an 80s cover band.  They have a conversation, and he walks her to her car where we get another little song and dance number.

He then shows up at her work, and they walk throughout the backlot while they both give some background character development and he explains jazz to her and why he loves it, and why he’s obsessed with ‘saving’ it by opening his own club and playing traditional jazz.  She explains why she wants to be an actress.  Upon getting a callback for one of her auditions, he suggests that they go to see Rebel Without a Cause.  She agrees, forgetting that she had a dinner scheduled with her boyfriend.  At dinner, she hears jazz over the speakers in the restaurant and promptly decides to end things with the boyfriend and go meet up with Sebastian to see the movie. 

Time passes, we get some dating montages as they move in together, and Mia feels motivated by Sebastian’s passion to write her own one-woman play. Sebastian, overhearing a conversation between Mia and her mother, takes a job playing keyboards in his friend Keith’s band, which is more jazz-fusion, so he essentially ‘sells out’.  He ends up on tour for a while, she finishes the play, and they have a big fight just before her play premieres. 

Well, no one shows up to the play, including Sebastian, who comes late because he had a photo shoot with his band. Mia basically gives up and goes home to Boulder City, Nevada (which is about 4 hours from Los Angeles, in case, like me, you were wondering about that).  Sebastian is feeling sorry for himself that she left, and gets a phone call meant for her from a casting agent. He drives out to get her, and let her know she has the audition.

She nails the audition, and gets the part, which shoots in Paris for seven months.  Since he’s about to go back on tour – they essentially say goodbye, promising that they will always love one another.

Spoiler alert – I’m going to tell you the end here, so stop reading if you don’t want to know.

The film jumps ahead five years, and we learn that Mia is now a huge star, with a husband and baby. Sebastian has his club, and seems to be very successfully playing his traditional jazz.  One night, Mia and her husband are out and about, decide to skip a dinner and walk into Sebastian’s club.  Mia and Sebastian lock eyes, and we get this entire fantasy sequence of how different things would have been if they had spent the last five years together, but it ends suddenly, and Mia and her husband leave the club, and Sebastian goes back to playing.

Damien Chazelle previously directed Whiplash.  I thought he did a wonderful job with this – I love the single-shot opening, I loved the colors and general look of the film.  Story-wise, it’s pretty weak, but the story is not the point of the movie.  I will say that Gosling and Stone together are fantastic. Their chemistry is great, and this being their third film together (Crazy Stupid Love – watch that, and Gangster Squad – don’t watch that), they have a naturalness together.

• Ryan Gosling plays Sebastian and was certainly fine. The dancing is good, the singing is okay.  Really, he delivered on what he was asked to do, and honestly, he’s best when he is given funny moments.  I’d like to see him shift to a pure comedy. 

• Emma Stone plays Mia, and again, she is certainly fine. The singing and dancing are good, and the vunerability and innocence play, as well as the frustration and determination.

• John Legend has about two and a half scenes as Keith, the guy who asks Sebastian to play in his new band.  He’s pretty good in those scenes, but since he’s basically playing himself, it doesn’t require much stretching.

• J. K. Simmons has basically a cameo as the restaurant owner who fires Sebastian twice.

• Tom Everett Scott randomly shows up as David – Mia’s husband.  And the three girls that play Mia’s roommates are pretty fun, and they get to participate in the dance number to get her out to the party.

Honestly, that’s about it for the cast. You’ll notice that in their multiple Oscar noms they have no one nominated in the Supporting Actor categories, because there really are no supporting characters. They lost the SAG Award for best ensemble to Hidden Figures because that movie truly had an ensemble cast, and this one is really just the two of them.  

Personally, I thought the movie was okay, but it’s not really in my wheelhouse.  It was well executed, well-directed, and well-performed, and it is certainly more enjoyable than most award-season movies.  By that I mean that they can often be exceptional quality, but really depressing stories.  La La Land is certainly light and fluffy, and I think is nominated as much as it is because of the musical aspect, which is pretty rare these days.

So – it’s nominated for fourteen Oscars, tying All About Eve and Titanic for the most nominations ever. Is it that good? In my opinion, no – but it’s got the momentum.  Will it win all fourteen? Again, in my opinion, no, because we’re starting to see the backlash that often comes from the frontrunner when it gets out in front too early. 

The main criticisms that I have heard as part of that backlash are that it’s too Hollywood-inside, it’s too white, and it’s too inconsequential, among others. 
Yes, as they are both aspiring artists in modern L.A., it’s very relatable for anyone in that position – for everyone else, it is not relatable.  But; the music and design of the movie overcome that un-relatability issue, I think.  It’s watchable as spectacle for us ‘regular folks’, but not because we relate to the characters.
Yes, it’s certainly very white for a movie with a character that is all about ‘saving jazz’ which is historically an African American Music.  The members of his band are black, and John Legend has his two and a half scenes. Again – since there are only two main characters and both of them happen to be white, there’s not much to be done there. 
Yes, it is inconsequential, or – as I said, fluffy.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but when you put it next to Hidden Figures, or some of the other nominees (Hidden Figures was my favorite), it does seem much less important.  That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be there, as the award is for craftsmanship, not necessarily importance, but importance does weigh in.  

I would add in as a criticism for me that I didn’t really get the ending. The movie is already light and fluffy – why not let them end up together and finish with an epic reuniting song and dance number? And really, in five years they grow that far apart that she’s married with a kid and they clearly haven’t seen or communicated with each other at all in that time? That felt a little untrue to the rest of the film, but hey – it did allow for that amazing fantasy sequence at the end, so I’ll give it a pass I suppose.

Overall, the movie was fine – I’m glad I saw it, but I will probably not watch it again.  You should see it, but you can certainly wait to rent it.

6 out of 10 – Bonus for random Tom Everett Scott and the dance sequence through the sets at the end.

Cast Interviews

2017 Oscars Production Design Category Breakdown

For the ongoing special LAMB Devours the Oscars series - where members dive into each of the Oscar categories - I chose the Production Design category.  You can check out the other category articles here - http://www.LargeAssMovieBlogs.com.
The Oscar for Production Design recognizes achievement for art direction in film. It was originally named Best Art Direction when it was first awarded in 1929, but changed to ‘production design’ in 2012.  Basically, it’s the award for the quality of the ‘look’ of the film in terms of sets and sites – as opposed to cinematography, which is how the camera moves through those sets and sites.  

If you leave the theater thinking, “Wow, that movie really looked amazing, and each set really enhanced the story without overpowering it!” thank the production designer.  If, on the other hand, you leave the theater thinking, “That whole movie looked like it was shot on poorly lit sound stages, in fact, I think I saw the sound stage wall in that scene that was supposed to be set in a forest!” or “That office set had so much stuff in it I was completely distracted from what the characters were doing and saying!”, then you should blame the production designer. 
Past winners include, Mad Max: Fury Road (2016), Grand Budapest Hotel (2015), The Great Gatsby (2014), and Lincoln (2013). Officially, La La Land is the front runner in this category, but all five of the movies nominated have some really lush sets and fabulous design work.

Arrival’s production Designer, Patrice Vermette, had to create both the aliens and their language.  He wanted it to be circular to fit the movie’s theme that time is nonlinear with ‘no beginning and no end’.  He researched pictographs and hieroglyphics to ensure that the alien language looked like nothing seen before.  With the assistance of his wife, they created the ink blot looking circular language. 

At this stage, it’s very tough to come up with an alien design that hasn’t been seen before, but the ‘heptapods’ are just different enough, basically looking like space squids.  The ship is smooth and stone-like, and I loved the gravity inversion as people entered the ship, that was a unique touch.  The ship and aliens themselves are fairly monochromatic, allowing the focus to be pulled back to the human stars, or star, of the film, since really the movie boils down to an emotional journey for Amy Adams’s character.  The look is clean, simple, and definitely enhances the story.

In Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them, production designers Stuart Craig, Anna Pinnock, and James Hambridge had to bring to life new aspects of author J.K. Rowling magical world.  Their advantage and disadvantage is that everyone is already familiar with the world of Harry Potter, but this story added the additional layer of a 1920s New York setting.  The streets and people of the ‘real world’ are all sepia and grays, so that when the magical world is entered, the difference is extremely obvious. 

The costumes and streets and buildings were all lovely, but for me, the very best part was inside magizoologist Newt Scamander’s case with his magical creatures.  The colors were phenomenal, the creatures were beautiful, and it was easy to get swept up into the awe of the look of them.  

Hail Caesar’s production designer, Jess Gonchor, has worked with the Coen Brothers on six movies, so at this point, they have a bit of a shorthand and can quickly convey what they need.  Since this movie takes plays mainly on the back lot of Capitol Pictures Movie Studio, Gonchor looked through boxes and boxes of old photographs in the MGM archives.

Seventy-five percent of the sets were built from scratch, allowing the actors to really dive into the 50s feel of the sets and locations. However, while the sets were incredible, they were based on reproductions of earlier actual items, so I feel they were executed well, but there’s not as much creativity needed for this film.

La La Land is an original modern musical telling a love story in Los Angeles.  For production designers David Wasco and his wife Sandy Reynolds-Wasco, they attempted to use as many real-world locations as possible, with some minimal set dressing.

They’ve previously done The Royal Tenenbaums, Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs.  Working with director Damien Chazelle, they used different color palates to enhance character development.  Mia’s world is an explosion of colors, Sebastian’s is more black and white – influenced by old jazz photography.  The opening number on the street is amazing and really pulls you into the story with all the dancing and bright colors, but personally, I really enjoyed the shifting sets at the end of the movie during what I would call a ‘fantasy flashback/alternate storyline’ sequence. One of the characters reimagines some of the movie and all of that is done on actual sound stages with moving set pieces. It’s lovely, and really clarifies the non-reality of those moments.

In the science fiction story Passengers, production designer Guy Hendrix Dyas created an array of epic sets within the spacecraft Aurora. The ship itself is three blades spinning around a central core. 

Dyas went with a luxurious, futuristic look but tried not to look at other science fiction in order to keep the look fresh.  Instead he found influences in art and architecture, including paintings from Edward Hopper.  He also made sure that each different room would have a different look.

Personally, I would have nominated Doctor Strange’s production designer, Charles Wood.  I thought shooting scenes in Nepal to bring to life the look of Kamar-Taj was inventive, and the look of the Sanctum Santorum was stunning. However, a large amount of that movie is CGI on greenscreen, and that often will cause the Academy to overlook the production design that was present.

In terms of the nominated movies, I think the language and aliens from Arrival are phenomenal, and the Fantastic Beasts and the case they live in were mind-blowing – however, La La Land seems to be unstoppable.  I’m discounting Hail Caesar because while the sets are lavish-looking, it’s a recreation of a past environment. Passengers is beautiful, but in creating a separate look for each room, it ends up lacking a bit of unification. I would prefer that Fantastic Beasts win the category, because I’m always a bit more partial to creating something that has never been seen before over enhancing things that are already there (still upset that Starship Troopers lost to Titanic on that front! Plus, come on, that niffler was adorable, and now we all want our own Bowtruckles).

My official prediction for your office pool is that La La Land will take this category.  

Movie Review: Florence Foster Jenkins (PG13 – 111 minutes)

Narcissa Florence Foster was born July 19, 1868.  She was a talented pianist when she was young, and when her father refused to allow her to study music in Europe after graduating high school, she eloped with Dr. Frank Thornton Jenkins in 1885.  After learning she contracted syphilis from her husband, she ended the relationship and apparently never spoke of him again.  An eventual arm injury prevented the piano playing, so she gave piano lessons to support herself.  After her father died, she inherited a great deal of money, and resumed a musical career while taking up with a British Shakespearean actor named St. Clair Bayfield.  She became a big time socialite back when that was a thing you could be with the right amount of money and shifted to Florence Foster Jenkins, noted as the ‘world’s worst opera singer’, which did nothing to dissway her love of performing.  She became a bit of a musical cult figure in New York City during the 1920s, 30s, and 40s.  Many celebrities of the time were fans, despite her being widely mocked for her flamboyant costumes and terrible singing voice, as they were won over by her overwhelming passion for performing and music. She became the founder and ‘President Soprano Hostess’ for the Verdi Club – her own organization. The question of whether she was in on the joke or if she genuinely believed she had musical talent is still up for debate.  It’s also possible that both the syphilis and the treatment may have damaged her hearing, and contributed to the issue.

This movie tells a piece of Florence’s story, starting after she has already taken up with Bayfield, hires a new pianist, and decides to perform at Carnegie Hall.  After hiring McMoon to play for her while she takes singing lessons, Florence is listening to the radio, hearing how women are sending dedications to soldiers in WWI, and decides to record an album so that the profits can go to soldiers and their families.  

The recording inexplicably sells very well, so she decides to put on a huge concert.  At first, she is nearly laughed off the stage, but fans of hers push for her to continue, and eventually she finishes the concert.  Bayfield and McMoon (the pianist) attempt to prevent her from seeing any of the reviews (that they had not already bribed) to the point of purchasing all the newspapers.  Eventually, she does read one review, and appears to pass out from the shock of it, fading right into her death.

The movie is directed by Stephen Frears who also directed Hi Fidelity, The Queen and Philomena.  I will say that this movie felt very much like The Queen and Philomena in that it has a really strong female true-life character lead, and tells a tight little story pulled from a more epic life. 

• Meryl Streep plays Florence Foster Jenkins – and while this is a story about a real woman, it also feels a bit like a Streep showcase. I could have just as easily believed it to be fiction, created to show off Streep’s skills.  There’s no argument that she is fantastic, and makes Florence easy to love because of her overwhelming kindness. And yes, she did her own singing, because she's Meryl Frickin' Streep.  

• Hugh Grant plays St. Clair Bayfield.  He came out of semi-retirement to do this movie, mainly for the chance to work with Streep. He seems to genuinely love Florence, even though he has a girlfriend on the side. He does everything he can to help her along with her career – even to the point of bribing critics and stacking the audience with friends and family to cheer on Florence.

• Simon Helberg plays Cosme McMoon – the new pianist hired by Florence to play with her at Carnegie Hall.  At first, he’s excited by the possibility, but then, realizing how terrible her singing is – he becomes terrified of performing with her.  As the story continues, and he gets to know her, he becomes a big fan, and is very happy to perform with her.  Helberg does a wonderful job in this, and it’s so much more than you’ve ever gotten to see him do on Big Bang Theory.

• Rebecca Ferguson plays Kathleen, Bayfield’s side-lady.  She’s in love with him, as he clearly is with her, and in the beginning she is supportive of both he and Florence, but grows increasingly frustrated as he spends more and more time with Florence instead of her.

That’s pretty much it for the main cast. Really, this is a tight, small, movie covering just a small portion of Florence’s life and career, just before her death.  It’s absolutely a Streep vehicle, but both Grant and Helberg are fantastic supporting characters. Having not known anything about Florence, this was interesting for me, and hilarious from time to time. Honestly, it really showed that if you are genuine and kind, and do what you can to help others, people will be drawn to you and support you – even if you are the worst singer ever!  I love a positive awards-season movie!

6 out of 10, definitely Oscar Bait –but you can’t argue with Streep’s talent.

Cast Interviews: 

Movie Review: Sleepless (R – 95 minutes)

Sleepless is a new action thriller that is based on a French movie, Sleepless Night (Nuit Blanche 2011), which was directed by Frederic Jardin.  

The story is essentially the same in this remake. The movie opens with an action-packed heist. Two masked men are holding up a van. They steal a bag from the van, but not before the driver calls for backup – and the backup sees one of the masked men’s faces. After a shootout, the two get away, and the next morning, we learn that the men who stole the bag are cops, partners in fact, and Vincent, the one whose face was seen, offers that they pick up the case for investigation. Unfortunately for Vincent and his partner, Sean, I.A. officer Jennifer Bryant is also on the case.  She’s trying to bust up a large section of dirty cops in this particular Vegas precinct.

As Vincent drives over to the hospital where his ex-wife works to pick up his son and give us some character background, we learn that Dena, his ex, is about to get married to her new boyfriend, and that Vincent has been lousy about being available for his son, Thomas.  Vincent is taking Thomas to his game (honestly, we never learn what sport – so it could be anything – LaCrosse, Hockey, Water Polo, etc), he gets stopped on the road, stabbed, and the bad guys steal Thomas right out of the car.  He then gets a call – it’s from Stanley Rubino, the owner/operator of the fictional Vegas casino/hotel, Luxxus.  Well, Stanley is all upset because that giant back of cocaine that Vincent and Sean stole was on its way to Novak, a member of a big time crime family.

Novak is busy shooting baseballs at and then cutting out the tongue of his cousin, really just as character establishment, when he decides to head over to Stanley to collect the giant bag of drugs, which he has promised to his father to send to their distributors in Canada, which they badly need, because they just recently lost a shipment. It’s a little complicated.

In any case, Stanley tells Vincent to bring him the drugs if he wants to get his son back, Novak tells Stanley to get him the drugs if he wants to keep his tongue, and Jennifer is tailing Vincent very closely, making it difficult for him to get the drugs from Sean to hand over to Stanley in exchange for Thomas.  All this sets up for a very intense evening of chases, fist fights, and gunfire, during which we learn who was really the dirty cop, who was really undercover, and where exactly the drugs end up.

Having never seen the original, I wasn’t really sure what to expect from this movie going in to it.  I was expecting perhaps a light action with some comedy bits.  It is not that – it is absolutely a very gritty tense little thriller that is very fast paced and very R rated.  Eventually, it all sort of works out okay, but it does take a while to get there.  This is the first American movie by Swiss director Baran Bo Odar, and I really enjoyed the speed of it.  Because it all takes place in one night, you really feel a bit worn out by the end. 

• This is definitely a Jamie Foxx movie, as he plays Vincent, and carries the majority of the film. He is very good, and you do feel for him as he goes from determined and angry to panicked and desperate as the night goes on.

• Gabrielle Union plays Dena, and really doesn’t get much to do aside from yell at Vincent for disappointing her and Thomas.

• Octavius J. Johnson plays Thomas, and does a pretty god job of being kidnapped, beaten up a bit – angry at his dad, and then trying to help his dad escape.  I was mystified that he had a ‘game’ to get to, which was mentioned over and over again, but I don’t recall them ever mentioning the sport at all.  He had a huge bag, but we never saw what equipment was in it.

• Dermot Mulroney plays Stanley, and it was fun to see him as a slimy villain when lately he’s been all nice and helpful on Pure Genius. Unfortunately for him, I will always thing of him as Dirty Steve from Young Guns.

• Scoot McNairy plays Novak in a role that once again had me thinking, “That looks like Scoot McNairy, but I’m not sure”, which is what I think almost every time I see him.  He was downright frightening in this, creepy and nasty.

• Tip T.I. Harris plays Sean Cass, Vincent’s partner, and there’s not nearly as much of him in the movie as I was expecting. He’s there at the beginning, and shows up to give the drugs back to Vincent, then shows up just at the end to bring him a uniform.  He’s just fine, but again, super Atlanta, and sometimes a little tough to understand.

• Michelle Monaghan plays Jennifer Bryant, and she gets her own character development when we learn that she recently was beat up on the job, and is trying to get past it, even though everyone keeps asking her how she’s doing. She’s been working on bringing down this particular group of dirty cops for a long time, so she’s willing to break a couple of rules to get there.  I thought she was very good in this, desperately determined.

• David Harbour plays Bryant’s I.A. partner Dennison who keeps trying to get her to stop overworking herself and maybe take a day or two off.

Overall, I enjoyed it, even though it was different than I was expecting. It’s short, fast, and intense – and worth renting for sure, maybe not seeing in the theater.

6 out of 10.  Gained points for Scoot McNairy still being hard for me to pick out.  Is he disappearing into the role, or is he just that generic looking?

Cast Interviews:

Movie Review: Underworld Blood Wars (R – 91 minutes)

You may not believe it, but this is the fifth movie in the Underworld Series. 

In 2003, Director Len Wiseman teamed up with stuntman/microbiologist Kevin Grevioux to come up with a vampire/werewolf story basing the transformations on viruses in the blood.  In the story, way back in the day, there was one guy (Alexander Corvinus) who had two sons, one bitten by a bat (Marcus), and one bitten by a wolf (William), and their descendants carried the diseases and spread them, leading to a huge amount of vampires and werewolves (Lycans).

In the first movie, Underworld – we are introduced to Selene – she’s a “death dealer”, a warrior in a vampire clan who hunts Lycans, which is a job she loves.  The movie was a bit of a surprise, and could have been a B movie throw-away (and some might say it is), but I loved it.  The Lycan effects are all mostly practical, with some really amazing prosthetics.  The story is simple – Selene is perfectly happy killing Lycans, having been told by her adopted vampire ‘father’ Victor that they killed her family.  The vampires have decided to extend the power of their ruling family by having three elders, and having two of them in vampire-style comas while one of them is awake.  Amelia is awake, with Victor and Marcus asleep.  Spoiler alert – Selene learns that the Lycans are actually victims in the scenario, and that Victor killed her family.   Lucian, the head of the Lycans, is working on mounting a revenge mission against Victor – since he had once enslaved the Lycans, and killed Lucian’s love – Victor’s own daughter Sonja - because she dared get pregnant with a hybrid baby!  Selene encounters Michael Corvin, who the Lycans are hunting because he’s a direct descendant of the ‘Corvinus’ line and his blood will help them get stronger and win the ‘war’. 

Underworld Evolution was released in 2006, and deals with the repercussions of Selene and Michael starting up a relationship, her killing Victor, and Amelia being killed by the Lycans, but only because they were given instructions by Kraven – a vampire attempting a coup.    Only Marcus is left, and he gets woken up and is very angry about things in general. He’s also mostly bat – again, with some amazing bat prosthetics.  Michael is getting better about controlling his half vampire/half Lycan transformation, and so the two of them end up actually finding the original Corvinus (played by Derek Jacobi if you can believe that!), and attempting to evade both Lycans and vampires.

The third movie in the series is Underworld: Rise of the Lycans from 2009.  Chronologically, this one is actually first as this is the flashback movie that tells the story of Lucian’s birth, capture, romance with Sonja, and then leading a Lycan uprising once Sonja gets murdered by her father.  Honestly, this one is probably my favorite.  It has the medieval setting, and more Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen, and Kevin Grevioux himself as Raze.  It may be an excuse for these fairly big time actors to get more time to play some fun roles after they were all killed in the first movie. 

The fourth movie, Underworld Awakenings,  brings back Selene, waking up after being captured by humans who have finally become aware that this vampire/werewolf war is going on.  Michael is missing and so is their hybrid child – which she didn’t know she had!  Selene teams up with Michael Ealy to help track down her daughter, who of course some Lycans are after – to use her blood to create super Lycans – while also getting help from vampire David, but not his angry vampire father, Thomas.

That brings us up to date, and to Underworld Blood Wars.  Selene is on the run.  Her clan is gone – and since she loved being a death dealer so much, she’s really not sure what to do. Her daughter is in hiding, and even Selene doesn’t know where she is.  David is following her around, because she saved his life last movie.  Meanwhile, a new leader, Marius, has taken over the Lycans – and he’s organizing them like they’ve never been organized before!

Semira, a vampire with some aspirations to rule, has pushed her way onto the council of the Eastern clan.  She and her henchman/cunnilingus provider, Varga, have invited Thomas to the mansion/castle they all live in to ask him to get David to get Selene to come in and train the new group of death dealers to prepare for this incoming wave of Lycans.  Varga’s not all that thrilled about that idea, since he thinks he can train them just fine.  David communicates this to Selene, and since she’s got nothing better to do, she heads to the home of the Eastern clan – a huge castle-like mansion which is filled with vampires that only wear black.

Upon arrival, Selene agrees to help Cassius, Semira, and the other council members.  She begins training the death dealers, but is swiftly betrayed by Semira – who is apparently still holding a grudge about her killing Victor – even though that was like four movies ago.  

Well, Semira has Varga kill the death-dealer recruits so they can blame Selene and the council will want to kill her.  Semira attempts to drain her blood, since it’s really powerful.  David and Thomas bust in to save her, and Thomas sacrifices himself so that they can get away.

Thomas told them to go north to hide, to a Scandinavian clan of Vampires who pretty much stay out of everyone else’s affairs.  Selene and David arrive at their castle on a mountain while Alexia – an up and coming death dealer in the Eastern Clan – is secretly meeting with Marius to give him all the details of what Semira is up to.  The amount of double crosses in this movie is really tough to keep up with.  Selene and David find that this northern clan has all the white vampire clothes, which must be why the Easter clan dresses all in black.  Lena, one of these northern vampires, has some weird teleport-y type powers based on the water? I’m not entirely sure how that works.  They also have been holding on to a drop of Amelia’s blood that she left for David (did I not mention that the vampires can see other’s memories by tasting their blood?), because as it turns out – she was his mother, so he’s of the royal line or whatever.

Alexia definitely led the Lycans to the castle, and they attack – wiping out a lot of the white-wearing vampires.  Meanwhile, Selene and Marius fight on the ice outside, and we get the idea that he’s maybe been dosing himself with something, because he’s bigger and stronger than most Lycans and able to get into Lycan form, with a regular Marius head, which is very unsettling.  With Alexia’s help, Marius is able to beat Selene pretty badly, and she seems to die and slide under the ice. Alexia tastes Selene’s blood, and realizes she was telling the truth about not knowing where her daughter, Eve, is. They decide to go attack the Eastern clan.

David heads back down, proves to the council that he’s Amelia’s son and Semira is actually the bad guy. The council locks her up instead of killing her, and David gets everyone ready just as Marius and crew attack.  There’s a pretty bloody battle, and things are going badly for the vampires since the Lycans brought a cannon-type deal that is punching holes in the wall and letting the sunlight in.  Just as things start looking hopeless, Selene comes back with the newly gained teleport-y type powers, some new white-blond highlights in her hair, a brand new white coat, and all the battle-prepped white vampires from the north as backup. She corners Marius and rips out his spine, but not before learning his special powers are because he captured and killed her love, Michael.

The story ends with David and Selene in line to become the new vampire elders along with Lena as Selene has visions of Eve.  Len Wiseman has already confirmed there will be a sixth and final movie – so I would assume the last movie will be Selene hunting for Eve and then finally ending the war?

This one is directed by Anna Foerster, who has directed episodes of Outlander, Madame Secretary, and Criminal Minds.  She started her career as a director of photography for Roland Emmerich, and there are definitely some sweeping large shots that have an Emmerich-type feel in this movie. I will say that it was really heavy on exposition, vampire family drama, and double crosses.  There were also a lot of characters to keep straight, some new and some old.  It felt a bit choppy throughout, jumping from scene to scene really quickly.  All that considered, I still really enjoyed it, but I’m partial to these movies. I love when everyone in it seems to be having a really good time doing something silly.

• Kate Beckinsale is back as Selene in her black leather to hunt Lycans.  She has said how much she loves doing these movies, playing a bad-ass werewolf hunter.  She’s perfectly capable, and hey – if I looked that good in a leather jumpsuit, I would wear it all the time.

• Theo James returns as David, doing his very best to assist Selene while dealing with the revelation about his mother.

• Tobias Menzies plays Marius. He’s definitely a guy you recognize from Outlander, Game of Thrones, and The Night Manager. I first noticed him in Rome.  Here, he does a good job of being an obsessed Lycan who finally gets all these werewolves together with a goal, but really, the werewolf body with his head was weird.

• Lara Pulver plays Semira, and I recognized her most from Sherlock, where she played Irene Adler.  She’s just the right touch of vampy evil in this. Her costumes do half the work, but she sasses through the movie.   

• Charles Dance plays Thomas for a little while, until he sacrifices himself to let David and Selene escape. He’s elegant and always has a touch of evil around him, but he’s pretty fun in this. Again – the wardrobe does half his work.

• James Faulkner plays vampire council member Cassius, and his job is really just to be gloomy and glowery until David shows up to prove he’s royalty.

• Peter Andersson plays Vidar – the head vampire of the northern clan who has a whole bunch of pertinent exposition secrets on hand for a guy we are just learning exists five movies in.
• Clementine Nicholson plays Lena – and while I may not understand how the whole water-burial-gives-me-teleporty-powers thing works, she’s very interesting and has a great outfit – very Viking.

• Bradley James plays Varga, and his main job is to hang around and roll his eyes.  He was a bit of a tool until he betrayed Semira at the end and tried to help David.

• Daisy Head plays Alexia, and her double cross was so unexpected to me since we had already had a double cross.  I’m also not sure it did her any good, since letting the Lycans into the Eastern Clan’s castle really wiped everybody out.

Overall, it was not great, but I really enjoyed it. Funny how that can work sometimes!  The werewolves are less practical then they used to be, but they still look pretty good. The vampires are still really goth, hanging out in their castles and believing that they are better than everybody else around them.  I’m really looking forward to the next one, can’t wait to see what Eve has been up to and who has been double-crossing her.

6 out of 10 – gained points for the introduction of a new vampire clan. Lost points because they still refuse to wear any color.  Here’s hoping the next movie introduces a clan of vampires that wear all the colors.

Cast Interviews; 

Bonus - Cinema Sins - Everything wrong with Underworld...but be sure to watch all of them, I'm only putting one here.