Movie Review: Thor: the Dark World (PG13 – 112 Minutes)

My main complaint about Ender’s Game was that it lacked a sense of fun.  I realize that is inherent in its subject matter, but it was still a complaint for me.  Good news, Thor 2 more than made up for it. 

Thor is a Marvel comics character, first published in 1962. However, the Thor world is taken directly from Norse mythology.  Thor, his brother Loki, and their father Odin are characters that have existed for centuries.  Their exploits are filled with the same arrogance and lessons that those of the Greek or Roman gods are.  It made perfect sense then that the first Thor movie would be directed by Kenneth Branaugh, who is as close to a living reincarnation of William Shakespeare as you will find on this planet.  The movie was part of the Marvel ‘Phase 1’ project, that was initialized by Iron Man, and Hulk.  It came just before Captain America, which led into the final piece of Phase 1, the magnificent Avengers.

Marvel then successfully announced plans for ‘Phase 2’, and even more successfully began them with Iron Man 3 earlier this year.  It wasn’t as good as Iron Man 1, but it was definitely better than Iron Man 2.  My expectations with Thor 2 were that it would continue that trend.  Where Thor 1 had a gorgeous look, fabulous action, and surprising sense of fun, I guessed that Thor 2 would drop the ball slightly.  Thor is always difficult to relate to – he’s a god from a different spacial realm – so half the success of Thor 1 was putting him on earth and giving it a ‘fish-out-of-water’ feel.  Thor 2 takes place mainly on Asgard with brief forays into other realms. 

This movie begins with Thor and his trusty hammer Mjolnir helping to restore peace and order to the 9 realms with the assistance of Lady Sif and the Warriors Three (in mythology, Thor also has the belt Megingjoro, the gloves Jarngreipr, and the staff Grioarvolr – so don’t complain about pronouncing Mjolnir – it could be worse).  Loki’s attack on New York took place just after the destruction of the bi-frost, and so the realms fell into chaos.  The warriors are starting to see the results of their work, and are locking up various baddies from all the realms in their special prison wing.  This gives Thor’s parents the opportunity to tell him he should think about settling down, probably with Sif, who seems to be holding a bit of a torch for him (Incidentally, in Norse Mythology, Thor is married to Sif).  However, there is an approaching convergence of the realms (basically the same deal that was happening in the Tomb Raider movie if you remember – the Alignment?), and the lines between realms are becoming blurred.  This just happens to be the perfect time for the long-ago vanquished Dark Elves (led by the 10^th doctor and Heavy Duty from the first GI Joe movie) to wake from their slumber, seek out a weapon called the Aether, and seek to destroy all the realms in vengeance, or anger, or just bitterness – you know, all the things that Dark Elves are known for. 

Meanwhile, on earth, physicist Jane Foster, her intern Darcy, and Darcy’s new intern Ian are bumbling around London looking for their missing mentor Erik Selvig while noticing some strange side-effects of the convergence.  To her credit, Jane is attempting to not mope around because of not seeing Thor for two years and is even out on a date.  However, they find some weird gravity holes here and there, the occasional teleportation loop, and floating trucks.  While fooling around with these (I’m not going to lie, if I found a stairwell that I could drop a bottle down, it disappears before it hits the floor, then appears at the top to drop down again – that would keep me entertained almost all day), Jane accidentally gets sucked into one of the teleportation loops that puts her right where the Aether is being hidden.  The Aether must have really loved Black Swan because it decides to bond with her.   She then bamfs back to London, where Thor appears – because of course, Heimdall couldn’t see her for a moment, and Thor’s been constantly harassing Heimdall to watch Jane all the time.  During a brief skirmish with the cops, Thor realizes she’s infected with something un-earthly, and whisks her away to Asgard where the queen of the Borg takes a look at her and determines that whatever is in her is dangerous and will probably kill her.  Odin thinks this is just fine, delivering one of the best lines in the movie – that she no more belongs on Asgard, “than a goat belongs at a banquet table”, but Thor vows to save her.  There’s not much time, as the Dark Elves – drawn to the Aether the way Captain Barbosa and his crew are drawn to their pirate gold – appear in some dark spaceships and attack the palace.  Thor then has to defy his father to figure the best way to end Malekith’s plan (the leader of the Dark Elves) – which is just to destroy all nine realms.

This movie is really well directed by Alan Taylor, who has previously done some action-y TV shows, Game of Thrones in particular.  It looks gorgeous, especially the moments on Asgard, which is all golden and vertical, and we get to see much more of it this time around.  There is a moment where Thor and Jane are talking on a balcony overlooking a lake, and it looks like Naboo.  The Asgardian costumes are impressive as well.  The bits on earth are really hilarious, due mostly to the team of Stellan Skarsgaard and Kat Dennings, who seems to have earned herself more screen time this go-round.  The movie had a decent story, great action, and a wonderful sense of fun.  The final battle sequence is outstanding as it transfers from realm to realm and includes all the characters, alternating from silly to serious, to action packed to romantic.  The first Thor had a wonderful fun tone, and this sequel maintains and excels that tone.  It fits perfectly in the ongoing Marvel Phase, and makes me really look forward to their upcoming releases.  There is an extended Captain America: the Winter Soldier trailer attached to the front, as well as the after the credit bits that you knew would be there – and yes – stay all the way through the credits (not just to the Thanos part, but to the Schwarma part). 

Cast-wise, everyone really is settling in to their characters.

• Chris Hemsworth again is magnificent as Thor.  He seems to enjoy himself, and does a great job of moping around Asgard longing for Jane.  He’s charismatic and beautiful, and yes, there is the prerequisite shot of him shirtless for the ladies.  It is completely gratuitous and has nothing to do with the plot, it’s just as excuse to let Hemsworth be shirtless for a moment.  I personally felt there could have been more than one scene like that, but I’ll take what I can get! 

• Tom Hiddleston was the breakout in the first Thor and continued to astound in the Avengers.  Only someone as amazing as Hiddleston could hold down a villain role with that many heroes surrounding him.  He’s equally wonderful and vile in this.  You share Thor’s love and hate for Loki, desperately wishing you could trust him.  The scenes with Loki and Thor bickering and fighting are wonderful and speaks to the great chemistry that Hemsworth and Hiddleston have built.

• Natalie Portman is fine as Jane Foster, she is a bit one-note, but loosens up more in this than I have ever seen her do before.  Jane’s attempted date at the beginning (with the magnificent Chris O’Dowd from Bridesmaids), and the bumbling through the rest of the film are really entertaining, and give Portman the chance to be human. 

• Kat Dennings really does have an expanded bit, she’s not acting so much as just being Kat Dennings, but she is really fun and entertaining in this.  I especially liked her interaction with their new intern – Liam – and it still cracks me up when she calls the hammer Mew-Mew. 

• Stellan Skarsgaard is also a little more expanded in this, and his Erik Selvig is barely recovered from Loki’s brain manipulation in the Avengers – and I do mean barely.  For example, the first time we see him, he is tearing around Stonehenge naked.  And that is absolutely as brilliant as you think it could be.

• Anthony Hopkins is in this to play Odin to chew the scenery, and he does a magnificent job at that.  I particularly liked his interactions with Loki, and with Rene Russo as Frigga.  Russo actually gets a whole lot more to do in this movie as well, including an entire battle scene with Malekith.

• Speaking of Malekith, Christopher Eccleston is the perfect choice as the villain in this movie.  He’s grim and determined and wants nothing more than to plunge all 9 realms into the eternal darkness of nothing.  I was really impressed with the dark elf makeup, especially on him.  It is subtle and beautiful. 

• Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, who I always enjoy, plays Malekith's second in command and has some beautiful dark elf makeup as well, and then an amazing prosthetic when turned into ‘the Kursed’.

• Jaimie Alexander plays Lady Sif, and while she does seem to long after Thor a bit unrequitedly, she’s still a badass in battle.  There have been rumblings about her as Wonder Woman previous to this.  This will only add more momentum to that push. 

• In terms of the other Warriors 3, Ray Stevenson continues to play Volstagg, Tadanobu Asano returns as Hogun (just with a longer wig in this one), and Zacary Levi steps in as Fandral instead of Josh Dallas (who I am guessing couldn’t return because he was busy with Once Upon A Time?).  They each get a bit of business in this movie, and are very fun. 

• Idris Elba’s Heimdall is far more action-packed in this movie and actually gets a chance to leave his little bridge-projector room.   He also gets the chance to take the helmet off.  The sequence where he takes out an entire ship is wonderful.  He certainly proves that he’s worthy of his own superhero movie, just which one to cast him as…or perhaps James Bond?  He’d be perfect for that.

Go see this – and see it now – and see it in 3D.  It’s easily the movie I’ve enjoyed the most this year.  Quality-wise, Gravity is probably the best movie I’ve seen this year, but again – that’s not why I go to movies.  I go to be entertained.  I love all the details in this movie:  Thor hanging Mjolnir on a coat rack, the glimmer of Loki’s magic, Odin’s Raven, Frigga’s badassery, and the brief introduction of Benecio del Toro as the Collector.  It’s everything a fun summer movie should be, which is even more welcome now, in the midst of the Oscar Movie Season doldrums.

10 out of 10.  I loved it so much – it’s the only thing this year that made me want to turn around immediately after it was over and turn around to go right back in to see it again.  Iron Man 3 was okay, but made me really angry the first time out (maybe too much knowledge of the character beforehand?  I know nothing about Thor storylines).  Star Trek Into Darkness made me furious, even after multiple viewings made me okay with it, Man of Steel was a huge let down.  So far the only things that I really enjoyed were Fast 6 and the silly fun of Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters.  This really took the cake.  Gained points for Hiddleston, he’s fantastic.  Gained points for Lady Sif being awesome.   Gained points for Kat Dennings – who was almost funny enough to make me want to watch Two Broke Girls – almost.  Gained points for Skarsgard running around Stonehenge naked – that’s worth the price of admission.   

Bonus Video 1: EMH –  This show is streaming on Netflix, and it is fantastic. 

Bonus Video 2:  The honest trailer for Thor 1. 

Bonus Video 3:  Loki taking over Comic-Con and belittling Chris Hardwick.  Hiddleston is amazing.

Bonus Video 4:  Cast Interviews:

Movie Review: Ender’s Game (PG-13 – 114 minutes)

The novel Ender’s Game was first published in 1985 after the short story was published in 1977. It is a military science fiction novel by Orson Scott Card and spawned many sequel novels.  It is set in the future, after mankind has faced the Buggers or Formics, an insectoid alien species.  To prepare for the third conflict, children are being trained as tactical military commanders.  I welcome anyone who has read the novel (s) to respond to this and let me know if this movie sticks close to the book or interprets it a little more loosely.  It seems there is an entire political subplot involving Ender’s siblings that was not involved in the movie at all.  I did try reading the book a few years ago, but found it boring and stopped.  Maybe I’ll pick it up again?

In this movie, Ender Wiggin is at a school being trained in various war games.  He’s a “third” on a planet where couples are only allowed two students, so he is teased for that.  He’s got an older brother and an older sister.  He’s close with his sister, but really seems to loathe and fear his brother.  Every student has an electronic monitor attached, and one day Ender bests an older boy in a simulation, then gets his monitor removed (implying that he is flunking out), then gets in a fight with the bully.  He outsmarts him and beats him savagely.   Colonel Graff and Major Anderson come to his house to ask about it.  He states he kept beating him once he was down to prevent all further attacks.  With this explanation, they decide he will be a brilliant military tactician and whisk him away to “battle school”, where he is assigned to a squad, excels, then gets moved to another squad, excels (mainly in their zero-G laser tag, but also at weird little mind games), beats another kid basically to death, tries to quit, they bring in his sister to convince him to stay, then he gets promoted again, then goes to “command school” where he has to deal with Ben Kingsley as a Maori. 

If you can get past the general idea that the military in the future will be trusting children to run all operations, and you can get past the fact that we are hunting down a species that seems to have left us alone for a great many years, and you can get past the fact that there is very little action (except for in simulations), and you can get past the fact that there is zero fun in this movie (it’s really grim and somber – I get the that the tone is morose, but jeez, it’s still a sci-fi movie), you may enjoy it.  I did not - it's such a downer.

South African director Gavin Hood directed Tsotsi, Rendition, and the excitingly terrible X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  This movie looks great, the effects are beautiful to look at, and the acting is very impressive.  It’s directed very well, and I would be curious to see if they continue with some of the other books and storylines.  This movie does finish very open-ended. 

• I thought that Asa Butterfield as Ender Wiggin (the creepy kid with the big eyes from  Hugo) does a good job carrying this movie.  He is in virtually every scene, except for the two or three that are Harrison Ford and Viola Davis arguing.  Asa has a very emotive face, and you believe that this small kid really does want to do right, and excel at the tasks he is given.  However, when he goes dark and threatening – you really believe that as well.

• Harrison Ford plays Harrison Ford in space.  He plays Colonel Graff who recruits Ender and helps to train these kids.  He’s gruff and serious and doesn’t allow them to be children, just keeps treating them as soldiers.  He does get to float horizontally for one scene, but even that just seems to annoy him.

• Hailee Steinfeld, who was very impressive in True Grit plays Petra Arkanian, Ender’s friend in Battle School.  She helps train him in the zero-G laser tag area, and he keeps her on his squad moving forward.  She’s good, but doesn’t have much to do.

• Abigail Breslin  plays the “too-emotional-for-battle-school” Valentine Wiggin, who Ender is very close to, and continues to try to email while at school.  She seems to be the one who keeps him emotionally stable, or tries to.

• Ben Kingsley expands his resume to include another ethnicity as he plays the half-Maori  Mazer Rackham.  He’s the legendary commander that all the children have learned about and hope to emulate.  He’s all business, and carries off the accent pretty plausibly.  But hey, he’s Sir Ben Kingsley, of course he’s going to be good.

• Viola Davis plays the “too-emotionally attached to the children” Major Anderson who continually argues with Colonel Graff about the practices they are using on these children.  Really, that discussion was interesting, and I was curious to see more, but I think that is one of those things that is more detailed in the book.

• Ender’s squad of battle-ready kids are all played by pretty established kid actors including Aramis Knight (Bean), Suraj Partha (Alai), Khylin Rhambo (Dink) and Moises Arias (as the one Ender basically kills, Bonzo).  They are all very capable, and very multi-ethnic, which I enjoyed – and I am curious if that was part of the book too?  Also - I bet the different squads, symbols, and names are further developed in the book as well...maybe I should read it.  

• English actor Nonso Anozie plays Sergeant Dap and previously worked with Asa Butterfield in Nanny McPhee Returns.  He’s also been in RocknRolla, New Conan, The Grey, Game of Thrones, and most recently on TV in the new Dracula.  He’s very big and very intimidating, bossing around Ender and his group, telling Ender that he will never salute Ender – until, of course, what seemed to be almost the next scene when Ender was promoted, and Dap saluted him.  That happened too quick so all the emotional connection to it was lost.  In any case, this dude is awesome - but check out Dracula to see him.  Or go back and re-watch Game of Thrones to see the mother of dragons lock him in his own empty vault. 

Spoiler alert here – I’m about to discuss the end.  The whole time Ender and his gang of kid-strategists have been battling the Formics in these simulations.  The upper level guys tell Ender he has one more simulation to ‘graduate’.  He takes his squad, and attacks the Formic home planet, completely destroying it, and the Formic race.  But then the simulation continues to run and the children are forced to watch the planet (and race) die.  At this point Ender realizes it was real – that he really did just commit genocide.  He runs off, completely broken – then realizes that a Formic queen has been hiding on the planet they are based on, and communicating with him telepathically (why didn’t she get the message through before he wiped out her race?).  He goes to see her, she wipes away one of his tears (I did love that moment), gives him a Formic queen egg, and he takes off through the galaxy, looking for a safe home for them.  So I suppose, the last minute or two of this movie is hopeful, after they spent two hours turning this smart little kid into a brutal genocidal maniac.  That is probably the point, to discuss the morals of war – but you know what?  That’s actually not why I go to the movies, I’d rather be entertained, not bummed out.

5 out of 10.  It's well-acted, well-directed, and overall really well put together. It's just not my cup of tea.  It didn’t make me want to pick up the book again, but maybe look into the graphic novel/comic book version?  This movie is what would happen if you took Starship Troopers, but reduced the age of the main cast by half, replaced Michael Ironside with Harrison Ford, took out all but one of the action sequences, and removed all the sense of fun and adventure.  Gained points for the Formic design, when you finally get to see a Formic – she was stunning.  Lost points for the  constant gloom.  I mean seriously, there is no fun in this movie.  I think the only time Ender smiles is during laser tag, when he’s blasting the hell out of the other kids.  Oh, and when he’s watching Harrison Ford float horizontally, but that kinda cracked me up too – there’s always functioning gravity on the Millenium Falcon.

Bonus Video 1:  Starship Troopers – yep, just go watch this instead.

Bonus Video 2:  The Fugitive – the best Harrison Ford movie that does not have the words Indiana and/or Star Wars in the title.

Bonus Video 3:  The 2013 San Diego Comic-Con Ender's Game Panel

Movie Review: Escape Plan (R - 116 minutes)

Here’s the good news – this movie is better than I was expecting.  The bad news is that I thought it was going to be absolutely terrible, so it’s not hard to be better than that.  It’s pretty much exactly what you think.  Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger have been friends forever.  They got the chance to appear on screen together in the Expendables – years after they and other buddy Bruce Willis created Planet Hollywood in October of 1991. 

The Expendables was made with a firm sense of tongue in cheek.  Let’s take a bunch of aging action stars (and some new ones) and throw them into a movie together.  Expendables 2 continued that trend, and they are shooting the third in the series now, which will include Wesley Snipes and Harrison Ford – yes, I said Harrison Ford.  I cannot wait. 

In any case, once Arnold’s political career was over, and he was freed up to make silly action movies again, he and Stallone both agreed to appear in the Tomb, about the two of them attempting to break out of an unbreak-out-able prison.  Along the way, the name was changed to Escape Plan, and the result is a solid action movie. 

Stallone plays Stallone – or Ray Breslin – who is a world famous prison expert.  The federal government has hired him to check the security of prisons across the country.  The movie opens with him escaping from a prison in Colorado; then reporting back to his team and partner.  They then get an offer from the CIA to check their new exceptionally secure high-tech prison (the Tomb).  He’s picked up in New Orleans, and taken to a series of stacked plastic boxes.  He meets another inmate named Rottenmeier, who swiftly befriends him.  Together they observe the guards and activities at this “Tomb” and begin to form their “Escape Plan”.  It’s not complicated, it doesn’t really need to be, but it’s sufficiently well-crafted and fun to watch.  It’s directed by Mikael Hafstrom, and seems to be the Swedish director’s first American English-speaking movie. 

The cast speaks for itself:

• Sylvester Stallone plays Ray Breslin.  He is now 67 (and still 5’10”, not nearly as short as people have been telling you he is), and still in fantastic shape.  However, you can certainly see the effect of the neck surgery he had after the first Expendables movie.  He doesn’t really seem to be able to turn his head anymore, and has to turn his whole body to look around.  But really, what do you expect after Stone Cold Steve Austin practically broke his neck.  He does a very good job in this movie; it’s more of an understated performance, which is really what he is best at.  He does a lot of observing and analyzing, and it was fun to see him play a smart character.  I actually really liked the back story of why Breslin has this career as well, it was fitting and well-played.  There are a few moments where I could not understand what he was talking about – just because he is sometimes really difficult to understand. 

• Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Emil Rottmayer.  He is a year younger than Stallone and is listed at 4 inches taller, but in this movie they look like they are almost the same height.  He’s still in great shape, and I have to tell you, his acting in this movie is better than I have seen him in a long time.  His character immediately and aggressively befriends Breslin when he arrives in prison.  He helps him observe and plan, to the point of helping him get put in solitary – twice.  The second time requires an extended diversion, which allows Arnold to pretend to go completely insane while screaming in German.  It is the most range I’ve seen him have, perhaps ever, and was a really entertaining sequence. 

• Jim Caviezel plays the evil prison warden Hobbes.  He is absolutely vile in this movie, very oily and smarmy.  He plays his part with a very quiet, sadistic charm.  He used Breslin’s book to create the prison, and once he finds out who Breslin is, does everything in his power to keep him there.  He has a hobby of mounting butterflies, which is creepy and weird, and doesn’t really serve a purpose, except for proving how creepy and weird he is.

• Faran Tahir (the man who should have been the Mandarin, if you’re going to update that character), plays Javed, and is really wonderful in this as another prisoner who is first at odds with the two ‘heroes’, then sides with them to help their plan.  He’s great every time I see him, and I hope he continues to get interesting roles that are not always ‘intimidating Middle-Eastern man’.

• Amy Ryan from the Office plays one of the Members of Breslin’s team, and Curtis “50-cent” Jackson plays the other.  Yes, seriously.  You could not pick a more random pair if you tried.  They do their best to help keep track of Breslin, but promptly lose his signal once he is picked up.  They then continue to work with Breslin’s partner to try to get him back.  Ryan is fine, but Jackson should maybe stick to rap.  He only has a few lines, and I didn’t buy any of them.

• Sam Neill (hey! Sam Neill is in this movie!) plays the prison doctor.  He’s a good doctor, but if he’s so good, why is he in this horrible prison?  Well, thank goodness he is, so that our characters can turn to him for assistance at key moments.  No spoilers there, you see that coming as soon as his character is introduced.

• Vinne Jones plays Drake – and honestly, I’m a little surprised he hasn’t been in an Expendables movie yet, perhaps in the third?  He’s basically just a sadistic prison guard who gets to beat up on Stallone repeatedly.  And I do mean repeatedly.  If you want to see him in something really entertaining, rent the UK version of the Longest Yard – which is called Mean Machine.  It’s fabulous.

• Vincent D’Onofrio plays Breslin’s partner, Lester Clark.  He helps Breslin get put into all these prisons, then helps collect payment once he breaks out.  He has a very deliberate character piece in the beginning that he seems to be a germaphobe, constantly using hand sanitizer, and not touching anyone.  That never comes back, and never really gets a big payoff like it could.  Interesting, but wasted.  He’s weird in this, but he’s weird in everything.

Overall, this is better than Bullet to the Head from earlier this year, but not as good as The Last Stand from earlier this year.  Really, I think it will just hold you until Expendables 3 comes out.  It’s certainly entertaining, but by no means great.

6 out of 10 – Gained points for the reveal of where the prison actually is – it was very interesting, and well done.  Lost points for the weird butterfly thing.  Gained points for Arnold going crazy.  Lost points for the twist at the end being seeing from light-years away – at least by me.  Lost points for Breslin telling the doctor to check in the warden’s office for a book, the doctor finding the book, then believing Breslin from that point forward.  What was in the book?  Why did that suddenly make him trust him?  I suppose that does not matter.

Bonus Video 1: Mean Machine – super entertaining.

Bonus Video 2: Dead Calm – Sam Neill and Nicole Kidman get terrorized by Billy Zane.

Bonus Video 3:  Cast Interviews:

Movie Review: Gravity (PG13 – 90 minutes)

I saw Children of Men in 2006 when it came out in the theaters.  It remains in the top five worst movies I have ever seen.  And of course, by ‘worst’ movies – I mean movies I personally have hated.  Others on that list are The Fountain (Darren Aronofsky), The Brothers Grimm (Terry Gilliam), The Constant Gardener (Fernando Meirelles), and Untraceable (Gregory Hoblit).  I list the directors because I always blame directors when I hate movies.  Children of Men was critically lauded as being imaginative and striking.  I thought it was pretentious and horrific, plus I can’t stand Clive Owen, not sure why. 

In any case, it was directed by Alfonso Cuaron, and was enough of a reason for me to never see anything he ever directed again.  His Harry Potter – the third, my favorite of the books and the movies – was in 2004, before Children of Men.  So when previews for Gravity first started showing up with his name on it, I was fairly certain I was never going to see this movie.  Then my brother pre-screened it several months ago, and daily for those months he kept telling me that I had to see it.  Fine, I gave in.

And, here’s the surprise – it is easily the most technically well done movie I have seen this year.  The effects are stunning, the sound is incredible, and the performances – well, the performance – is exceptional.  That being said, I am not sure I would say that I “enjoyed” the movie, but it certainly was an experience.

Ryan Stone is a medical engineer with 6 months of training for her first shuttle mission.  She is paired with veteran astronaut Matt Kowlasky, who seems to be on his last mission.  They are working on repairs to the Hubble Telescope, when that sequence you see in the trailers starts.  Apparently the Russians shoot down one of their own satellites, causing a storm of debris to go hurtling through the atmosphere.  As tiny bits of debris destroy the shuttle and most of the crew, Stone gets cut loose from her attachment and goes circling off into space.  Kowalsky recuses her, and the two of them must make their way towards the international Space Station to find an escape pod to head back to earth.  That’s it – that’s the whole plot.  And yes, it really is only the two of them in this movie.  Ed Harris occasionally talks to them as Houston, but they lose communications pretty early on.  Okay – and here’s your spoiler alert – seriously, don’t read any further if you haven’t seen this movie – because you really should go see it right now.  See it as big as you can (IMAX if possible) and in 3D – it is stunning.

I have to discuss what happens in detail to tell you the issues I had with the movie – and there are very few.  Once they head towards the ISS, they encounter all sorts of difficulties.  One of the escape pod’s parachutes has deployed, causing the station to be surrounded by tiny ropes.  They get caught in them, and grab hold.  The ropes go taut, and Stone is caught by her foot – and she’s holding the connection to Kowalsky, which then also goes taut.  He then states that he is pulling her away, and he needs to disconnect to save her.  Okay – my degree is not in physics, but I know that’s not how momentum in a vacuum works.  They were taut, all she had to do was give one good tug to bring him towards her, then they both would have gone crashing into the station.  If they needed a dramatic way for him to sacrifice himself for her, there was plenty of other terrible nonsense happening.  Once in the escape pod, Stone somehow manages to dial in a radio broadcast of a Chinese man calling his dogs and then singing a lullaby – what?  That goes on way too long, and makes no sense.  Then there’s some issues with the fact that the Hubble, the ISS, and the Chinese Space Station all seem to be on exactly the same horizontal plane in space so that you can shoot from one to the next.  But again – as I said, those are all minor things, and the key part of this movie is the action, suspense, intensity, and the performance.

• I say performance instead of performances because George Clooney (Matt Kowalsky) essentially plays George Clooney in space.  He doesn’t do any stretching, but it’s not really called for.  He does some beautiful non-verbal acting as he is drifting away – but you almost miss it. 

• Sandra Bullock plays Ryan Stone and really – this is 100% her movie.  She is nervous and timid in the beginning, then strong and determined towards the end with an important transition in the middle.  She does a great job.  She is sure to be nominated for an Oscar, and whether or not she wins depends largely on what other performances from other movies get nominated.  You could make the point that you’re not entirely sure how good her performance is because there is no one else in the movie to compare it to, but then, that could also work in her favor.  The performance is very real, and not over-the-top.  She is believable, and incredibly engaging. 

• Ed Harris does lend his voice to mission control – but again, he’s barely there.

You really do need to see this movie.  It’s almost this year’s Argo.  It’s a complete surprise how amazing it is.  It’s the most visceral movie I have seen in a long time.  You feel every bit of it, including the absolute panic of the disaster.  Bullock does spend half the movie grabbing for things as she floats past them, which is so well done that the majority of the theater goers wanted to start grabbing at things to help her.  Someone asked me if maybe the casting of Clooney and Bullock was ‘stunt-casting’, because really, would it have done as well without them?  I think the answer is not initially, but it is so well-crafted that it would have done well, but probably not as well.  I cannot think of another actress that would have pulled off the relatability of Stone as well, and I think that is one of the strongest points of the movie.

8 out of 10 – I’m taking away one point for Clooney continuing to play annoying country music, and I’m taking away a point for him not understanding physics and letting himself drift away.  I will also take away some points for the dead bodies floating in the remains of the shuttle, and for the astronaut with the hole in his head – not sure we needed to see that.  I am giving back those points for the stunning visuals, the amazing sound, and Bullock’s performance.  And for making me try to grab at pieces of space stations so I didn’t float away.  Without the ‘howling with the dogs lullaby’ sequence, I would have given it a 9.

Bonus Video 1: Space Camp!  I used to love this movie.

Bonus Video 2:  Space Cowboys!  Also very good.

Bonus Video 3:  Alien, because while Bullock’s Stone is good – she’s sure as hell no Ripley.  And you know, in Space – no one can hear you scream.

Bonus Video 4: Cast Interviews:

Movie Review: Battle of the Year: the Dream Team in 3D (PG13 – 110 minutes)

There are many terrible dance movies out there.  There are far fewer good dance movies.   The first Step Up movie is pretty fantastic.  The others, however, are not.

Planet B-Boy is a documentary directed by Benson Lee that was released in 2005.  It followed the evolution of Breakdancing (or b-boying) from the early 80s to a dance fad that has covered the entire world.  There are now international dance competitions for b-boying, and Lee’s documentary helped bring awareness of them. 

Lee then realized that he could potentially roll his documentary into a feature film following the crew from America heading over to an international competition.  

The drama comes from the fact that America created b-boying, but has not won the competition in 15 years.  Incidentally, the Battle of the Year seems to be a real international b-boy competition.  The sponsor for the American team, Dante, is a hip-hop mogul who decides we need to win back the title, and brings in his old b-boy partner, who had been a very winning basketball coach until a tragedy caused him to give up on life.  Once the coach steps in, he brings with him the mentality of the 1992 Men’s Olympic Basketball team. 

Previous to 1992, America had been sending exclusively college players to the Olympics.  We had created basketball, but we were losing, as other countries were routinely sending their professionals – some of which that played in the NBA here in the states.  In 1988 we finished third.   In 1992, the decision was made to send the very best of our professional players – who promptly became nicknamed the Dream Team.  Essentially at the time, they were the greatest sports team ever assembled, and they defeated their opponents by an average of 44 points per game, easily winning the gold medal.

Josh Holloway’s character in this movie brings that same idea to his dance crew.  He fires the current squad on hand, which has not won, and has open auditions for dancers from across the country.  This leaves him with a ‘dream team’ of b-boyers.  He then starts working on turning these individual dance stars into a team.  He moves them into a former juvenile detention center and gets them up early every day for practice.  You can see where this is going, right?  There are tons of initial fights, because the group doesn’t get along, and each dancer believes that he is better than everyone else. 

There are all the stereotypical characters, and they have the stereotypical first ‘friendly’ match, which they lose because they didn’t function as a team.  They work out their differences, pull together, and head over to the competition.

Essentially – I feel like this movie is the dance version of Best of the Best,which is one of my favorite movies of all time.  Seriously – it’s almost the same exact plot.  James Earl Jones’s “…a team is not a team if you don’t give a damn about one another…” speech would have fit perfectly in here.  Holloway's character even has rules similar to Jones's rules; "Dont' be late - don't EVER be late..."  So, I guess spoiler alert – if you know how Best of the Best finishes with our competition with the Korean team, you know how this movie finishes.

In terms of the cast – the majority of it is actual dancers, not actors – so you get what you expect.

• Josh Holloway plays Jason Blake, the tragic coach figure.  His wife and child tragically died, and he’s retreated to inside a bottle, and this represents a chance for him to get his life back.  You’ve seen that done 100 times before, and probably 87% of those were better than this.  Essentially Dante hires him because they used to b-boy together back in the day.  Where was that footage?  What at no point in this movie do we see Josh Holloway Breakdance?  That’s a shame.

• Laz Alonso plays Dante Graham, who says all the stereo typical things that the sponsor/backer says in movies like this.  He shows up here and there to motivate Holloway, question his methods, inspire the team by bringing in one of their heroes, and give them new warm-ups.

• Josh Peck plays Franklyn “with a Y”.  He says that too many times to count in this movie.  He does not get to dance at all – he’s the assistant basically.  He does deliver his dialogue the same way he did in that terrible Red Dawn remake – at a loud whisper.

• Caity Lotz plays Stacy, the choreographer.  She has only a couple of scenes, so I can’t tell you if she’s any good as an actress, and we didn’t really get to see her dance all that much, so who knows.  She and Holloway have one little dinner-date scene once they get overseas.  Maybe that relationship will be fleshed out in the sequel.  I’m kidding; this is not getting a sequel.
• Chris Brown plays Rooster, in what I’m sure is stunt casting.  Surely there are better b-boys out there that would have been better.  And he’s not that great an actor – although there is one scene where he tries really hard.  Just for fun, during that scene, pretend Rhianna’s Take a Bow is playing over that scene.  The release of the movie was delayed for a year plus, which may have been to let some of the media heat over Chris Brown’s public nonsense cool down, but the problem is, he’s so often doing nonsense in public, it never really cools down.   Takers had a delay for the same reason.  At least that movie was better.

• The rest of the cast is all made of up b-boys who basically play themselves.  Dominic from So You Thing You Can Dance fame shows up, as well as a few others you may recognize.  Ivan ‘Flipz’ Velez, Jon ‘Do Knock’ Cruz, Anis Cheurfa, Jesse ‘Casper’ Brown, David Shreibman, Sawandi Wilson, and Richard Maguire are just a few of them.  They each get a little character defining moment, and then payoff to that moment.

The movie is incredibly formulaic, unoriginal, and standard.  The dancing is great – I wish there had been a little bit more of it, but that may have been strategic.  The first time we see our crew perform an entire routine is their opening at the big championships.  It’s not great, but it is fun to make fun of – and yes, the dancing is wonderful.  See it with some friends, and laugh at it all the way through.

5 out of 10 – and I’m being generous, but it did make me laugh here and there – but I was laughing at it, not with it.  Lost major points for not featuring any b-girls, and I know there are some awesome ones out there.  Gained points for Holloway’s commitment to the character we’ve seen over and over again, and even more than that, his refusal to put any kind of new or personal touch into this very repeated character.  Lost points for Franklyn constantly reminding us of the same things over and over again; he’s Jewish, he can’t dance, and it’s Franklyn with a Y.  Gained points for the dancing at the end – but really, you could have extended that sequence and let us watch all the countries perform.  Lost points for Chris Brown - Deuces!  

Bonus Video 1:  Dominic on SYTYCD

Bonus Video 2:  If you are in Vegas, be sure to see the Jabbawockeez show – current b-boy excellence begins and ends with them.

Bonus Video 3:  Takers, check this movie out – it’s sort of the male version of Set It Off, but not as good.

Bonus Video 4: Cast Interviews