Movie Review: Uncharted (PG13 – 116 minutes)

 

The Uncharted games are distributed by Naughty Dog through Sony PlayStation consoles. The first one was released in 2007, followed by three sequels and one spin off.  I loved all the games, they feel like playing an Indiana Jones style adventure treasure-hunting movie.  Nathan Drake, the lead of the games, is fun and relatable with enough skills to get out of tricky situations, puzzle areas, and random gunfights.  He is a descendant of Sir Francis Drake and was raised in an orphanage with his older brother Sam. Over the course of the games, he and his mentor, Victor Sullivan (Sully), go on adventures sometimes with partner/adversary Chloe Frazer, or Elena, the journalist who Nate eventually marries and has a kid with – yes, the stories are that detailed.

The game series has been rumored to become a movie for years with various stars attached. Fans (including Nathan Fillion) wanted Nathan Fillion to play Nate, to the point that he made a fan film short with Stephen Lang.  I really (really) wanted to see that movie, but hey - we have come to the point where we get an Uncharted movie starring the extremely likeable Tom Holland.

This movie picks up (as the games sometimes do) with Nate regaining consciousness while hanging in mid-air out of a plane.  We go through a few flashbacks to the orphanage and his older brother Sam, to his working as a bartender and meeting Sully.  Sully strongly encourages the nimble-fingered and treasure-history savvy Nate to join him on a quest for the lost gold from Magellan’s voyage.  Together, they work with Chole Frazer to compete against Santiago Moncada, who believes his family is due the lost treasure, and Moncada’s own treasure-hunter-mercenary, Braddock.  Treasure-hunting hijinks and double-crosses ensue.

The movie is directed by Ruben Fleischer, who directed both Zombielands and the first Venom.  It is swiftly paced and action-packed. The treasure hunting-sequences are engaging and the fight sequences are entertaining.  I enjoyed it more than I expected, and I think it will deliver for those familiar with the games as well as those who have not heard of them.  The scope does not feel as grand or big as some of the games, but admittedly, that is mainly due to the fact that this shot during the pandemic and travel was more limited than a true globe-trotting treasure-hunting adventure deserves.  The cast each bring their own touches to characters that feel familiar both as archetypes and to those that played the games.

Tom Holland continues to be the most charming guy around. As much as I wanted Fillion to play Nate forever, going younger allows them to tell more stories – which I am already looking forward to. Holland is capable of both the action sequences and the guy-with-a-lot-of-historical-knowledge puzzle-solving sequences. You have to believe he is well informed, can solve a riddle, but can also hold his own in a fight.

Mark Whalberg is fine as Sully, but there were so many better choices out there.  He’s easy to buy in the action sequences, but less easy to buy in the riddle-solving scenes, which works because Holland handles most of those. Again, going a bit younger allows them to continue for many years, and he does appear with Sully’s trademark moustache in the post-credits sequence, so who knows. I’m trying to not let my severe dislike of Mark Whalberg color my opinion of his performance.

I love Antonio Banderas as a villain and he certainly oozes his way through Moncada as a guy who believes he is due far more than he is.  I would have loved even a little more of him in this movie – he does more string-pulling than treasure-hunting, and I think I wanted to see him out in the field, mixing it up a bit, throwing some punches and continuing to taunt our heroes.

Chloe has always been one of my favorite characters from the game, she’s the lead of the spin-off and that one is my favorite.  Claudia Black expertly voices her in the games and here Sophia Ali does a wonderful job portraying her. She is essentially the flip side to Nate, equally skilled, but with perhaps a looser moral compass. Looking forward to seeing what else she will get up to.

Tati Gabrielle plays Braddock, who starts out as a henchman and levels up to big bad. She provides levity when necessary and cold-bloodedness when necessary as well.

Overall, the movie is certainly fun and the perfect running length (just under two hours) for an action-adventure.  There’s a super fun Nolan North cameo, who voiced Nate in the games.  I especially appreciated the use of the game’s score in the movie when Nate gets his full outfit.  Since that music theme plays anytime the game is loading, you get very familiar with in after a run through. I will say, there weren't enough scenes of Nate randomly accidentally falling off a cliff while whatever character is next to him yells, "Nate, no!" repeatedly - which is a hallmark of my skilled gameplay.  

I definitely enjoyed this movie far more than I expected to and honestly, a lot of that is due to Holland’s chemistry and charm.  He continues to make some great choices and I am now on board with him as Nathan Drake – I hope they make a bunch more of these.

8 out of 10

Fan Film!

Movie Review: Marry Me (PG13 – 112 minutes)

 I have said it before and I will say it again – if there is one genre of movies I want to stick fairly close to a set formula, it is the rom-com.  The tried and true calculus of “Act 1 meet cute + (Act 2 relationship bliss + contrived conflict) = Act 3 reconciliation due to giant romantic gesture” is a proven formula and it works.  Marry Me is no different.

Pop star Kat Valdez is one of the biggest names in the music industry and as she is currently dating superstar Bastian, one half of the hugest power couple. The two have recorded a song called Marry Me and intend to really get married while performing at Madison Square Garden. Just before Kat takes the stage, she learns that Bastian cheated on her with her assistant.  Despondent and frustrated after all her failed relationships, she vows to try something different and in a flash decision, spots math teacher Charlie in the crowd, holding a “Marry Me” sign given to him by his friend Parker who dragged him and his daughter to the concert.  After Kat’s people bring him on stage, Charlie says yes, and the two get married. 

What follows is completely predictable, but undeniably charming.  Kat and Charlie get to know each other over what her team promises will just be a few weeks and then they will let him get back to his normal life. Kat is charmed by his work with kids and his precocious daughter. Charlie is charmed by Kat’s desire to be more true to herself and not give up on love, despite what the rumors about her say.  Inevitably, Bastian shows back up to throw a wrench into things and Charlie worries he’s not enough for Kat.  After a short split, she shows up at his math competition to provide the required big gesture to seal the deal.

The character of Kat is so similar to Jennifer Lopez’s real-life persona that I had to check if she wrote this (she did not).  The tried-and-true story is exactly what you expect, but what makes a successful romcom is never the story or content – it is the cast and how skillful they are at elevating the material. Lopez is a natural in this, mostly because she is playing herself.  It would be easy to find her privileged and out of touch, but there are just enough moments where she seems genuine with the kids and the desire to remain a romantic even in a world that wants to tear that apart that Kat remains a character you can cheer for, I particularly enjoyed the scene where they go bowling, and Charlie assumes she cannot bowl, and she absolutely can and gets a strike - charming and fun.

Owen Wilson is perfect as regular-guy Charlie who is dealing with his own insecurities as a single dad, wondering if he’s doing enough for his daughter and compounded by curiosity about his ex-wife’s new man.  He is great in the scenes with all the kids in the school as he coaches the mathletes.  He has such a pleasant likeability that he is just perfect here, again – someone you can root for. It's also fun to see these two together again after first seeing them in Anaconda, a true gem of a creature-feature.

The surrounding cast helps to add fun moments while never pulling focus from or upstaging the leads.  Maluma is a bit of a non-factor as Bastian – he’s there to be pretty and sing beautifully, which he does perfectly. 

John Bradley shows up as Kat’s manager – who cares so much about her well-being that I wondered if he was in love with her and maybe that was a side plot that was cut?  Michelle Buteau plays Kat’s personal assistant and, as always with Buteau, adds some perfect comic moments.

Sarah Silverman is dependably funny as Charlie’s best friend Parker and Chloe Coleman from My Spy is charming as fun as Charlie’s daughter Lou.

Overall, the movie delivers exactly what it promises, two likeable leads in a well-executed romcom that is perfect for streaming on Peacock on Valentine’s Day between winter Olympic Curling matches. And bonus – some of the new JLo songs are great! 

6 out of 10

 

Movie Review: Moonfall (PG13 – 132 Minutes)

 

No one destroys the planet like Roland Emmerich.  Moonfall is no exception.

This movie begins with a charming and fun spacewalk in which three astronauts debating whether Toto missed the rain or blessed the rain in Africa.  During this exchange something goes wrong, one gets knocked unconscious, one gets eliminated and the one remaining gets court martialed because no one can back him up on seeing something nefarious that caused the issue. 

Years later, that nefarious something is causing the moon to shift out of its orbit and begin creeping toward earth. This, of course, has terrible consequences including earthquakes, insane tides, gravity fluxes, lack of oxygen, you name it.  Oh, and of course, rioting, looting, and government officials making bad decisions.  It is up to the two remaining astronauts from that original mission, a comic-relief scientist, and their respective families and supporting characters to identify the problem, come up with a solution, and save the day. 

Honestly, that storyline is pretty similar to any Emmerich disaster movie, the best of which is Independence Day and the worst of which is 2012 – others are somewhere in between, but all have popcorn, big-screen, nonsense entertainment value.  This one ambles a bit in the beginning.  As opposed to the tight and clearly defined timeline of Independence Day (Day 1: the problem is identified, Day 2: a solution is crafted, Day 3: the solution is enacted and the day saved), in Moonfall the timeline is a little ambiguous – was there three days or three weeks during the story?  The wacky scientist that no one is listening to finds the issue, but NASA also finds it at about the same time.  The disgraced astronaut is having family troubles, but not enough that we care about any of the people involved.  The mission is put together to save the world, but instead of everyone coming together with a strong sense of unity between all humanity, the government is at odds with NASA, plus random folks are attacking other folks.  It is all a little more loose than I would like.  But, that is just the story. 

Getting down to the scenes of actual destruction, my goodness the scenes of the moon rising as it creeps closer and closer are spectacularly menacing.  The moon starts looming on the horizon, getting larger and larger.  When it starts to enter the atmosphere, the visuals combined with the score and music definitely create a sense of panic.  So Emmerich is still in his element in terms of destroying the world.  The cast is mostly game, but in some of his other movies, the thrown-together ensemble of random heroes is charismatic and engaging, here they are mostly forgettable.  

Patrick Wilson does stand out as disgraced astronaut Brian Harper – the side plot of his troubled kid, ex-wife, and her new husband (and apparently two other daughters?) was a bit fuzzy and lost some steam. That is unfortunate, because Michael Pena play the new husband and even his charm wasn’t enough to make me care about their situation. 

Halle Berry plays the other astronaut who accidentally becomes the head of NASA during the course of the story. She is fine in the role, but I did want a little more from her ‘big speech’ moment.  Eme Ikwuakor plays her husband who is over at the DOD and I did want the two organizations to come together a little more and work together on a solution – this movie was missing the “unification of humanity against external threat” that can take a movie like this to the next level.

John Bradley plays the crazy scientist who first discovers the threat.  Typically in this movie, no one is listening to that character until it is too late – but here, NASA has made the same discovery about the moon’s decaying orbit – it is just his theory about it begin a “mega-structure” that adds to his lunacy. Slight spoiler here - the twist ending, which was spoiled in all the trailers, of him being right and that something dragged the moon out of orbit, was interesting, but could have been a little simpler.  He was fun and provided some comic-relief while also doing what he could with a handful of tender moments.

The others are all forgettable, which is a shame, because what pulls you into a disaster movie is relating to the wide cast of characters – and being moved when you inevitably lose some of them. 

Overall, the movie is fine and certainly an entertaining piece of nonsense.  I wish it had been better paced and that the characters were better – but honestly, I can just rewatch Independence Day and be happy about that.  Also, I really want someone to make a movie from Michael Crichton’s book Prey.  And I'm going to continue to be super polite to my Alexa anytime I ask for anything... just in case. 

6 out of 10.