Movie Review: The To-Do List (R – 104 minutes)

The teen-sex comedy is a movie gimmick that has been around almost forever.  There were plenty of them in the 80s, and then American Pie in 1999 re-vitalized the genre for a new generation.  I’m sure you have your favorite; there are plenty to choose from.  Of the recent ones (Private Resort is my favorite 80's one, and yes, because of Johnny Depp), I find Euro-trip (2004) to be the most absurdly hilarious. 

The majority of these, and probably the top 10 you can think of, center around young high school boys attempting to get laid.  That’s the formula, its’ worked up to this point, it’s not going to change anytime soon.  Writer/Director Maggie Carey (who is married to Bill Hader) makes her feature film debut with this, the To-Do List, and tells the teen sex-comedy from a completely female viewpoint.  It’s not 100% original, but it is rare, and it is funny.

There is the good news that almost everyone in this movie is over 25 years old. There is not really any nudity, but there is graphic discussions and actions.  The plot is simple, valedictorian Brandy Klark has her life completely planned out.  She has graduated and has everything in order for college.  She then realizes (or is convinced by her friends) that she is nowhere near sexually experienced enough for college.  She makes a to-do list of sexual exploits, and sets out to use the summer between high school and college to check everything off that list.  This involves her summer lifeguard job, her best-friend-who-wants-to-be-more-than-friends Cameron, her two crazy best friends, her boss at the pool, and the guys who work at the pool.  Hilarity ensues. 

And I mean it when I say hilarity ensues.  Look, this movie is dirty, I won’t lie to you, but I also found it charming and hilarious.  Brandy handles her list like any other task to be accomplished in her life with a very business-like attitude, which of course goes well until people start to find out about the list.  The cast is great, and really seems to be having a fun time throughout the entire picture.

• Aubrey Plaza plays Brandy at a few notches above her bitter, angry character from Parks and Rec.  She tackles every scene in the movie with no sense of shame, and with a genuine search for experience.  Her delivery is mostly flat, but at this point, that seems to be her trademark.  And it really does work perfectly for this.

• Johnny Simmons plays the poor doormat best friend Cameron.  I did spend most of the movie trying to figure out where I had seen him before until I realized he was Young Neil in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.  By the way, if for some reason you haven’t seen that yet, rent it now.

• Bill Hader plays pool manager Willy, who Brandy has to teach to swim, and learns some things from (although not much).  He is always funny, and is surprisingly understated in this.

• Alia Shawkat basically plays Maybe Funke – just in a different environment.  She’s the bolder of the two best friends, and works at the local Big Bun fast food joint.  Sarah Steele plays Wendy, the other best friend, who also works at the Big Bun and has one of the best running gags in the movie by insisting that they get together to watch Beaches, which does have a great payoff near the end of the movie.

• Scott Porter plays local heartthrob Rusty Waters, who Brandy falls for at a graduation party because he’s singing and playing a guitar.  Then of course, he ends up working at the same pool as she does for the summer.  His character could have been very two-dimensional, but Porter actually gives him just enough bits of business to make him entertaining and have a soul – not much of one, but it is there.

• Rachel Bilson plays Brandy’s older sister Amber, which threw me a little because it seems like Rachel Bilson is younger than Aubrey Plaza, but whatever.  She’s the sexually experienced one in the house, and Brandy goes to her for advice now and again.  She’s dating a hippie of sorts, played by Adam Pally, who doesn’t get nearly enough scenes.

• Christopher Mintz-Plasse plays Duffy and Donald Glover plays Derrick.  These are two smaller roles, and basically just serve as other guys in the film, but both of them are good enough comedians to give their small characters something memorable to do.
• Andy Samberg has basically a cameo as Van, the singer of a grunge type band.

• Connie Britton and Clark Gregg play Mr. and Mrs. Klark.  They are both very funny and it’s hilarious to see Gregg do something non-Coulson-y, and by that I mean having sex with Connie Britton in the backseat of a mini-van.

All in all, the movie was good, by no means great, but solidly funny.  I had a good time watching it.  I will say that I went to the movie with a group of my girlfriends, and we enjoyed the whole thing and had a great time laughing at it together.  However, there was a surprising number of older men there watching the movie – each of them alone, weird.  Also, the movie is set in 1993.  I graduated high school in 1994, so honestly, the timeline should feel familiar to me.  Most of the music was correct, but I felt like some of the fashion and extras were a little 80s.  That’s a small thing to pick on, but it stuck out.

6 out of 10:  Dirty, funny, enjoyable.  Gained points for the suds prank they pull on the other pool.  Lost points for the ‘Caddyshack’ bit in the pool.  Gained points for having D.C. Pierson in it!  Lost points for D.C. not having any lines.  Gained points for the Wind Beneath My Wings moment.  Also Gained points for the skorts bit.  I had a couple of pairs of those.

Bonus Video 1:  Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Bonus Video 2: Sex Drive from 2008 – another funny teen sex comedy.

Bonus Video 3: Cast Interviews

Movie Review: The Wolverine (PG13 - 126 minutes)

Wolverine’s first appearance was in the last panel of The Incredible Hulk #180; then a full appearance in #181 in November of 1974.  He was created by Len Wein and John Romita Sr. 

Wolverine quickly became Marvel’s most popular anti-hero.  The simplest way to explain that is that he’s a good guy, with a bad attitude.  He’s willing to use deadly force and has a brooding nature.  He’s Canadian, and has been a member of Alpha Flight (Canadian Avengers?) and the X-Men.  His mutant powers are regenerative healing powers, plus several animal qualities: heightened senses (hearing, sight, smell), and of course, the claws.   Originally the claws were bone, until he went through a procedure that only he could survive because of his mutant ability.  He had Adamantium bonded to his bones – making him virtually indestructible.  He has a long and storied history – and if you want to learn any more about it check the Wikipedia page:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine_(comics).  The character became even more mainstream with the fantastic 90s X-Men cartoon, where he was voiced by Cathal J. Dodd.

This was followed by his first on-screen appearance in 2000, by a then-unknown Australian actor, Hugh Jackman. The story focused on Wolverine, pulling him into the already-established X-Men.  

The movie was great, fun, and brought characters that everyone had wanted to see finally to the big screen.  It was followed by the even better X-Men 2, and the very average X-Men 3.  Each of these really uses Wolverine as the focal point, because of both his popularity, and the amazing performance of Jackman.  The truth is – he’s way too tall to be Wolverine (in the comics, he was first listed at 5’3” – Jackman’s a foot taller…however, of late, Wolverine has started to be pictured taller, a tribute to Jackman’s performance). 

In 2009 we were treated to X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  

Well, ‘treated’ might not be the right word.  Look – it wasn’t terrible.  Jackman was fantastic.  There were parts of it that were entertaining.  But in terms of characters…well, you surely know someone who is a die-hard Marvel Comics expert – check with them about the character errors.  Then there was the failed attempt to bring in fan-favorite Gambit (this marks the second epic failure in trying to present fan-favorites if you look at Topher Grace’s Venom in Spider-Man 3).  It wasn’t Taylor Kitsch’s fault, it just felt way too forced.  And, of course, the failed attempt to bring in fan-favorite Deadpool (that’s three).  Check with your Marvel expert about Deadpool as well - but be prepared for them to get long-winded as passionate.  He's a man of the people!  I would say the bright parts were Jackman’s performance, Liev  Schrieber’s performance as Sabretooth, and Danny Houston as young William Striker.  The adamantium bonding sequence was also pretty great.  And the opening title sequence where we see Wolverine and Sabretooth through a lot of World Wars – also pretty great.  So – rent it and fast-forward through the not-great parts.

That brings us to The Wolverine (skipping his fantastic cameo in X-Men First Class).   This movie is directed by James Mangold (Cop Land; Girl Interrupted; Identity; Walk the Line; 3:10 to Yuma; Knight and Day) who had previously worked with Hugh Jackman in the rom-com Kate and Leopold – a movie in which he and Liev Schrieber were again fantastic, and Meg Ryan played the exact same character she always plays. 

The Wolverine focuses on some of the most famous pieces of Wolverine comic history, when he spent extensive time in Japan.  Wolverine is bumming around Canada, feeling sad/guilty over the second loss of Jean Gray in X-Men 3, for which he is blaming himself.  There’s an odd/upsetting sequence with a bunch of idiot hunters and a fake grizzly bear (thank goodness it was obviously fake, I do not do well with animals getting hurt in movies) in which Yukio notes the honor and justice in Logan.  She approaches him and tells him that Mr. Yashida, a man he saved in Nagasaki many years ago, is dying.  He is paying old debts, and has something for Logan.  Intrigued, and perhaps a bit tired of living in a cave (seriously, he’s living in a cave slicing trees to mark his territory….which is still better than moping around his mansion for 8 years on a cane after the death of his girlfriend who was going to leave him anyway – but similar) Logan heads off to Japan. 

He arrives in time to speak with Yashida as he is laying on the fanciest hospital bed ever (wouldn’t the memory issues he had in previous movies prevent him from remembering him – or anything that had happened?  Or was he getting his memory back in the last movie?  I can’t remember – that’s a memory joke).  Yashida offers to take away his ‘immortality’ which is really just his mutant regenerative powers so that he can finally relax – and die.  Of course, Yashida has ulterior motives, he’s not just doing this for Logan’s benefit; he wants the powers for himself, so he can evade death.  At no point is Logan sucked into this nonsense, and politely refuses.   Well – as politely as a Wolverine can.  Yukio introduces him to Mariko – who is Yashida’s granddaughter.  The two girls were raised together.  Yashida is about to leave his entire company and fortune to Mariko, which is bound to upset her father, Shingen – who desperately wants control of the fortune.  Incidentally Yukio’s mutant power is seeing peoples’ deaths.  How’s that for a crappy mutant power?  Yashida’s private doctor, who is Viper in disguise (it’s a terrible disguise, she always wears green, reptile-skin type clothes and has a creepy snake tongue and is exceptionally poisonous) infects Logan with something that suppresses his healing powers.  Yashida passes – which Yukio didn’t see, and all hell breaks loose at the funeral as Mariko’s fiancée Noburo, and the rest of the family are attacked by Yakuza who attempt to kidnap Mariko, while Mariko’s childhood sweetheart Harada tries to help protect her.  

Logan saves her, but gets shot a whole bunch of times in the process, and doesn’t heal up like he normally does.  This forces them to go into hiding together.  At this point there’s a slow 20 minute or so sequence in which they fall for each other, the phantom Jean Grey that’s haunting Logan gets a little jealous, and Logan does some more remembering.  Then – despite them hiding, they are found and she’s kidnapped.  This leads to the big epic finale where Wolverine has to fight Silver Samurai – no spoiler, it’s in all the previews.

(In the comics, Silver Samurai first showed up in 1974 in a Daredevil comic – he was Kenuichio Harada, he partnered with Viper, and worked for Clan Yashida and Hydra…however, Shingen Harada was also the Silver Samurai for some time). 

  

This movie starts fast, is really fun action for the first act – really slows down in the second act, then really picks up for the fun act three conclusion.  The cast does a great job:

• Hugh Jackman is once again amazing as Logan.  Now that he has been doing this over 6 movies, there is no one else that could possibly play this character, and I cannot wait for X-Men: Days of Future Past next year.  He is able to play the complete berserker warrior half of Wolverine, but is also able to give him these quiet introspective moments.  He is incredible.  And the shape that he’s in for this movie – even more incredible…I would have liked that bath sequence to go on bit longer.  http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/a-breakdown-of-hugh-jackmans-latest-twit-pic

• Tao Okamoto was interesting as Mariko.  She wasn’t quite a damsel in distress, having enough skills to fight off a few of her attackers.  She did have a regal air that makes you believe she could step into managing an international company.

• Rila Fukushima plays Yukio, who is spunky and fun, but also takes her duties very seriously.  Her sword-wielding skills are non-mutant, but still pretty impressive.  She was a bright spot in this movie.

• Hiroyuko Sanada plays Shingen.  He’s brooding and does his best to convince you he’s evil throughout the whole movie.  He’s angry most of the time, especially when threatening his daughter.  Hey, it’s not her fault that his father left everything to her!

• Svetlana Khodchenkova plays Viper and I have to say – does a really good job.  She’s creepy and weird.  She’s also slinky and sexy – but uses that as a means to an end.  When she finally does the molting sequence (again, not really a spoiler, it’s in the trailers) it’s very cool.

• Brian Tee plays Mariko’s fiancée  Noburo.  It’s an arranged marriage and she’s not that keen on him.  Considering the partying he’s doing, he’s not that keen on it either.  He has one of the best sequences in the movie when Logan comes to him to get information.  How about the red underwear?
• Hal Yamanouchi plays the older Yashida.  Again, I couldn’t get past the hospital bed.  It’s crazy amazing.  Also – in the trailers, it really made it look like he was trying to give Logan a gift by taking away his mutation.  In reality – he’s much more devious.

• The beautiful Will Yun Lee breaks “Marvel Law” by playing two different characters in the Marvel Universe (hey, it worked for Chris Evans).  Previously he played Kirigi in Elektra (oh, you didn’t see that?  Neither did anyone else – well, except for me).  In this movie he plays Harada, Mariko’s childhood sweetheart.  He’s fantastic – and seems to have the very best intentions.  Incidentally, I loved the idea of incorporating a bunch of characters into this movie who had been the Silver Samurai in the comics, so you don’t really know who it will be.

• Famke Janssen stops being Taken long enough to play Jean Grey in this movie.  And, basically she’s the same as the Six was to Baltar through the majority of BSG.  Is she there?  Is she in his head?  Well, okay, in this one we know she’s a representation of Logan’s guilt and inability to let go of the past, but she kept popping up here and there without being real.  Pretty slick.  I really liked her 'Dark Phoenix' portrayal, when she goes evil - she gets way more interesting.

The movie is not perfect, but it is really fun.  The beginning through the funeral chase sequence is fantastic.  The middle really slows down and could have used some tighter editing.  The final sequence is fantastic.  The story is good, but really the point is Hugh as the Wolverine, and he is amazing.  Stick around for the post credits bit, it really makes me look forward to next year!

8 out of 10.  Gained points for the bath sequence.  Lost points for viper licking stuff with her creepy poisonous tongue.   Gained points for Yukio being punky and fun.  Lost points for carefully avoiding the Lady Deathstrike comic storyline…or maybe gained points for that?  Gained points for the final fight – it was really fun!  Lost points for the fake bear getting killed (spoiler) – I was still upset even though it was fake.  Gained points for the post credit sequence…Hooray!  http://www.trask-industries.com/#/home

Bonus Video 1: This is a fan-made music video of Wolverine and Lady Deathstrike from the animated series.  The internet is full of interesting things.

Bonus Video 2: Elektra

Bonus Video 3: Cast Interviews

Movie Review: RED2 (PG13 – 116 minutes)

RED was first published as a short series of comic books by Warren Ellis and Cully Hammer in 2003.  DC comics re-released them in 2009 just before the first movie was released in 2010.  

In the film – Frank Moses is a retired CIA agent who spends his days quietly in a Cleveland suburb.  It seems that his only joy is calling Sarah, who works for the Pension office and talking with her.  Suddenly, a hit squad shows up at his house, marking the end of his quiet retirement.  He has to go on one last mission – pulling in all of his old co-workers and conspirators; hijinks enuse.  Incidentally – RED means Retired: Extremely Dangerous.

The movie was directed by Robert Schwentke and Starred Bruce Willis as Frank Moses, as well as Morgan Freeman, John Malcovich, Mary-Louise Parker, Helen Mirren, Karl Urban, Julian McMahon, Ernest Borgnine, Richard Dreyfuss, Brian Cox, James Remar and Rebecca Pidgeon (in a non-Mamet role!).  It was charming and fun.  So of course, a sequel was inevitable. 

RED 2 is directed by Deal Parisot, and brings back the original cast, and adds a few more members.  Frank is again attempting to live the quiet suburban life with Sarah – who seems to be itching for action.  Marvin seeks them out to say that they are about to be attacked.  Sure enough, they are attacked, and get a call from Victoria, who states that a hit has been put out on them.  Something to do with a mission during the cold war to get a nuclear weapon out of Russia, which is still hidden there.  They have to collect the clues to hunt down the trail of the one scientist who knows where the device is located.  Hijinks and action ensue. 

I almost never say this, but I felt like this sequel was better than the original.  It seems to have a more consistent tone, the action is almost non-stop and the pacing is better.  The story is good, the twists are unexpected, and it really makes for a fun summer movie.  Not surprising, Dean Parisot directed another movie with a grumpy cast, but a fun action tone, Galaxy Quest.  If you haven’t seen that – you should rent it immediately.

The secret to this movie’s success is the cast.  These actors all seem to genuinely enjoy being in this movie, playing these roles – which are all much more action-figure-y than their real personas.

• Bruce Willis once again stars as Frank Moses.  He is perfect for this role, and almost seems to be playing a bit of himself.  He is quietly confident, and just wants to stay home is his peaceful suburbs.  However, when the action does get going, no one is better than Willis at the every-man action star. 

• John Malkovich takes some time off from his hobby of singing opera to star as Marvin; the slightly “off” friend of Frank who spends most of the movie giving Frank and Sarah relationship advice.  Malkovich is entertaining and weird, and I mean emphasis on the weird. 

• Mary-Louise Parker, who really irritated me in the original, is far less annoying in this movie.  However, her character is still a little nonsensical and bizarre.  She loves Frank, but wants the action, and would prefer that he go back to accepting missions, rather than attempting to just stay quietly at home.  She’s thrilled when Marvin shows up, and even more thrilled when she gets to play an active part in some of their covert ops.  Honestly, the bit with her going undercover in the Kremlin did crack me up.

• Helen Mirren is fabulous as always as the complete badass MI6 agent Victoria.  She’s a killer who loves her work, and still manages to have fun.  She’s sassy and spectacular in this role that seems tailor-made for her.  There is one sequence where she pretends to be an insane asylum patient who believes she is the queen of England.  Pretty hilarious, based solely on the number of times that Helen Mirren has been the queen of England.

• Anthony Hopkins is new to the cast as Professor Bailey, the only one who knows where the device is located.  The only problem is that he’s been locked in a loony bin for 30 some years.  His performance is slightly crazed, but very smart, and really fun.  I’ve never seen Anthony Hopkins look like he was enjoying his role as much as he does in this movie.  He always seems a bit stodgy and pretentious, but he really seemed to loosen up for this role.

• Byung-hun Lee continues his quest to be the Korean Matthew McCounaghey in this movie – once again Lautner-ing the hell out of his role.  In GIJoe Retaliation, his shirt was off within 60 seconds of his appearance onscreen.  In this movie – it’s off within 30 seconds of his appearance.  Again – no argument from me, I would like him to continue to try to set new records with that.  He plays the ‘greatest contract killer in the world’ who had previous interactions with Frank and the team.  He comes into the story and promptly joins in the relation-ship advice-giving mentality.  He’s really fun and personable in this and fits right into the cast.  His character’s first kill is amazing – and let me just say, it involves a bit of oragami.

• Catherine Zeta-Jones is another new addition.  She plays a former KGB agent who had a ‘thing’ with Frank in the past, and steps in to help/hinder the group in this stage.  The competitive jibes between her and Sarah are hilarious and fantastic.

• Neal McDonough plays Jack Horton – the CIA agent tasked to go after Frank and Marvin to bring them in – or take them down…whichever.  He plays this role with the same zest he plays everything – he always seems to be having a good time.  He is always going to be Ensign Hawke to me, and that’s coming from someone who saw him play M. Bison in the Chun-Li movie (that was bad – I can’t recommend it).

• David Thewlis adds to the list of British thespians in this movie.  I would imagine that if they keep making these movies, they will start to compete with the Harry Potter movies for the overwhelming amount of British Thespians in them.  He plays ‘the frog’, a character that really knows wine – and exists for one chase sequence, and one interrogation scene – both of which are fantastic.

• Brian Cox reprises his role as Ivan the Russian.  He’s around to help them get through Moscow, and to flirt with Victoria.  He does both of these things with panache, again – looking like he’s having a fantastic time just hanging out.

All in all, this movie surprised me by being some great action – a lot of fun, and a couple of twists I didn’t see coming.  It is pretty violent, so not for the kids, and the runtime is just under two hours so it could have been a little shorter.  I also have to say that I loved the transitions in this movie, they used bits of the comic, and really fun postcards to change scenes.  It was unique and clever.  Check it out – maybe rent the first one, then go see this one.  I’m pretty sure you’ll agree that it’s a little bit better.  Of course, it doesn’t have Morgan Freeman…so there is that. 

7 out of 10.  Gained points for Lee’s prompt disrobing – I love it.  Lost points for Sarah constantly whining about wanting more action.  Gained points for everyone giving Frank relationship advice.  Lost points for Zeta-Jones’s a little over-the-top va-va-va-vooming.  Gained points for the chase sequences, there are some really great car sequences in this.  Lost points for no Morgan Freeman.

Bonus Video 1:  Harry Potter 3 – Thewlis, Oldman, Spall…really the best of those.

Bonus Video 2:  The Chun-Li movie – it’s not good, but I found it entertaining.  In which Lui Kang crosses dimensions and teaches Lana Lang to kick ass.  Featuring Moon Bloodgood, MCD, Neal McDonough, Chris Kline, Robin Shou and Kristen Kreuk.  

Bonus Video 3:  Blind Date – remember when Bruce Willis was that TV funny guy from Moonlighting?

Bonus Video 4:  Cast Interviews.

Movie Review: Pacific Rim (PG13 – 131 minutes)

Very early this year when we recorded our podcast for the ‘most anticipated’ movies of 2013 (check it out at http://www.HeSawSheSawFilm.wordpress.com) Pacific Rim is the movie I was the most excited about.  I could not wait to see the latest creation of Guillermo del Toro.  I am a big fan of his.  He started as a visual effects creator in Mexico, then started making his own movies, and has created some of the most visually stunning movies around.  Blade 2 is my favorite of the Blade movies, but aside from that, it is the one with the most impressive visuals, cleanest story, and Ron Perlman. 

All of del Toro’s movies have his signature all over them very loudly, usually including a few trademark pieces:  tunnels and/or caves, creepy weird things in jars, and an autopsy/examination of some creature or thing on a table.  Some of his earlier movies like Chronos, Mimic and Devil’s Backbone are more horror aligned.  His more recent movies like the Hellboy series and Pan’s Labyrinth are more fantasy with elements of horror.  Pan’s Labyrinth is one of the most beautiful, terrifying, elegant, creepy, lovely fantasy fairy tales ever put to film.  It is one of the best movies I have ever seen. 

Del Toro is a fan first, and growing up – he had a major love for the early Japanese Kaiju films.  Not sure you know what a Kaiju is?  Of course you do, you’ve heard of Godzilla, right?  Kaiju literally means “strange creature”, but has been adapted to mean any of the giant monsters that populated these movies.  Starting with Godzilla in 1954, then growing to include many other large monstrous beasts:  Mothra, Gamera,  and Rodan just to name a few. 

These Kaiju movies were very popular and made their way through all different levels of pop culture.  In fact, if you were like me, and watched Mighty Morphing Power Rangers back when they were still Mighty Morphing, anytime Rita used something and turned it into a monster, then used her magic wand to make it grow – those were essentially Kaiju, or at the very least, Kaiju-inspired.

Guillermo del Toro loved these movies and wanted to find a way to modernize them (please disregard the Emmerich Godzilla remake with Matthew Broderick - no one counts that).  When he first announced plans to make Pacific Rim – a movie in which we create giant robots to fight giant Kaiju, the fanboy nation rejoiced.  Who else could make such a masterpiece?

Sometime in the near future, a rift opens in the bottom of the Pacific Ocean between our world and ‘their’ world.  They start coming through.  The first Kaiju makes landfall in SanFransico, and the shots of that first attack are amazing.  We defeat it, but only after several days of attacks with jets and tanks.  The creatures keep coming through, one after another, attacking various cities that ring the Pacific Ocean.  We decide to build better weapons, and the Jaeger program is born (Jaeger is German for ‘hunter’).  We soon realize that the neural connection required to control the Jaeger is too much for a single pilot, so we use teams of two who are neutrally connected to each other, and to the robot.  Because of this, pilot teams need to be able to ‘drift’ well together.  So it’s usually sibling teams, or other family units.  The Jaegers are very successful, and we start to get cocky about how easily we are beating some of these Kaiju. 

Raleigh and his brother Yancey are a great Jaeger team piloting “Gipsy Danger” working the Alaskan coast when they make a misstep against a kaiju, and Yancey gets killed, while still attached to Riley.  Not sure he can get over the feeling of losing his brother while still connected; Raleigh quits the Jaeger program, and starts working on the ‘wall’, our new defense plan (because that will work, right?).   The kaiju start adapting to our robots, and they start winning.  Marshal Pentecost has just been informed by the powers that be that they are shutting down the Jaeger program.  It’s too expensive, we’re losing too many Jaegers, and we can’t build them fast enough and staff them well enough to keep the war going.  Pentecost decides on a final gambit of dropping a nuclear bomb down the rift that the Kaiju are coming through, shutting it and keeping them out of our realm forever.  But to do that, he needs all the pilots he can find, so he re-recruits Riley, and sets up trials to find the most compatible co-pilot for him.  It ends up being the general’s adopted daughter, Mako.  With the plan in place, and new scientific evidence from Kaiju biologist Newton and Kaiju mathematician Gottlieb; Pentecost prepares to launch the final assault to cancel the apocalypse. 

In terms of story, really Pacific Rim is nothing you haven’t seen before – but you’re not here for the story, you’re here to see giant robots fight giant monsters.  It’s fun, well done, and the story is good. 

The cast is also pretty great:

• Charlie Hunnam is best known from Sons of Anarchy, and does his best to continue his American accent in this movie.  I found that to be an odd choice, since there is so much focus on the globalization of this movie (everyone is represented), why not let him use his own Northern England accent?  In any case, I found Hunnam to be very flat, and not that great in this movie.  I can’t tell if that’s what he was asked to give, or if that was his choice, but I found him boring and one-note.  This is made more obvious, because everyone else in the movie is really good.

• Rinko Kukuchi is Mako, and this is one of her first American movies.  She is very good, conveying Mako’s confidence that she can pilot a Jaeger conflicting with her desire to honor and respect the wishes of Marshall Pentecost.  She has incredible non-verbal acting and her eyes and face convey her emotions. 

• The beautiful Idris Elba plays Pentecost, and does a fantastic job.  He is the heart of this movie; the focal point around which everything else moves.  He is very still, very focused, and knows exactly what he must do, and what he must inspire others to do to win this war.  The ‘surprise’ of him being Mako’s adopted father is transparent, and the ‘surprise’ ending of him having to climb into a Jaeger to help save the day is transparent, but none of that matters, because his performance is magnetic.

• Clifton Collins Jr. plays Tendo Choi – who I would explain as the ‘eyes and ears’ for the Jaegers on the ground, running controls from the control room.  He’s a bit chameleonic and blends into every role he gets.  Because of that, he’s one of those guys who is in everything, but you never know his name.  It’s Clifton Collins Jr. – see if you remember it the next time you see him (you probably won’t). 
• Burn Gorman, who I will always think of as Owen from Torchwood, plays Gottlieb.  His character in this is almost the exact opposite of his character on Torchwood.  He is the one who determines how often the Kaiju are coming through, and uses that information to determine when we can expect a ‘double event’ – two Kaiju coming through at the same time.  His scenes with Charlie Day are fantastic and entertaining.

• Max Martini and Robert Kazinsky play Herc and Chuck Hansen.  They are the father –son duo that is the number 1 Jaeger team when Riley has to come back into the squad.  This provides the obligatory tension between Riley and Chuck as they mouth off about who is the better pilot. 

• Charlie Day from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and the brilliant Horrible Bosses plays Newton – the scientist who has been studying Kaiju brain remains (autopsy/examination sequence) in an attempt to figure out what they want and why they are attacking in the hopes of learning how to stop them.  Day is fantastic and plays loose and fast with the dialogue.  Other actors in the movie deliver it as written, which is fine – however, Day is a comedic actor with the ability to raise the level of the dialogue he’s given and find jokes and entertainment in the performance and delivery, rather than just in the script. 

• Ron Perlman plays Hannibal Chau – and his explanation of that name is one of the best lines in the movie.  He’s absolutely wonderful in this as he is in every Guillermo del Toro movie he’s in.  The part was written for him and allows him to chew up every single bit of scenery near him as the resident black market Kaiju parts dealer.  The scenes he has with Day are the best parts of the movie: quick, spirited, fun and really entertaining.  Not to mention those shoes (stay through the credits).

One of my favorite things about del Toro movies is the amount of practical effects.  He strives to make everything as real as possible, only using CGI when necessary.  The ‘market scene’ in Hellboy 2 is the perfect example of this. Everything is a practical effect.  That being said, when he said giant monsters vs. giant robots, I wondered how that would fit with his practical sensibilities.  He hired ILM, and it looks amazing.  The CGI are stunning, and all the fight sequences are great – however, way too many of them take place at night and in the rain.  There are a few scenes that show battles that happen during the day – and I love those so much more.  

You can actually see the Kaiju as it interacts with the Jaeger, fully lit – in bright light.  The fight sequences that take place at night, I kept feeling like I was missing something.  I did love the scene when Riley gets back to the base after his 5 year absence, and we do get the slow introduction to each of the remaining Jaegers.  It allows you to see them, and get a really good look at them.  I would have loved a corresponding sequence with the Kaiju.  They are nicknaming each of the Kaiju as they come through, but we never get a sequence where we really get to look at them.  Del Toro specifically created each of them so that they had enough of a humanoid shape that they could have been a guy-in-a-suit like back in the 50s and 60s.  Because so many of the fights are at night, you don’t really get a good look at the kaiju.  Thank goodness for additional images on the internet.

I do love the scenes where things are really there.  And true to del Toro’s nature, there are many scenes where people are interacting with practical effects.  The scenes in Hannibal Chau’s hideout were my favorites, based just on the set itself. 

All in all, this movie is what summer movies are supposed to be.  It’s a little bit Independence Day and  a little bit StarShip Troopers.   It’s big, it’s over-the-top, it’s crazy, and it’s fun.  Go see it – as big as you can – and in 3D.  Marvel at the spectacle and get the biggest popcorn they have available. 

9 out of 10.  Lost the point for Hunnam’s performance and too many fight scenes at night.  Gained points for every scene with Day and Perlman, and especially any scenes with the two of them together.  Gained points for clearly evacuating the cities when danger is near – saving the civilian population – take note Man of Steel.  Gained points for the kaiju – but I did want a closer look at them.   Gained points for Idris’s ID4 speech.  You had seen it in almost every commercial, but it still gave me chills when he delivered it!  Gained points for the one Kaiju going right through the wall – prompting the response, “Why are we even building this thing?” 

Bonus Video 1:  I felt like it was more like Starship Troopers…

Bonus Video 2: … But my friend says more like Independence Day:

Bonus Video 3:  …and of course, there are the comparisons to Cloverfield:

Bonus Video 4:  Mimic – really fun little Del Toro horror piece with Mira Sorvino and Charles S. Dutton.

Bonus Video 5:  Cast Interviews…

Movie Review: The Lone Ranger (PG13 – 149 minutes)

The Lone Ranger first hit TV in 1949, (he had been the star of a weekly radio program starting in January in 1933) and brought the fun of a serialized Western to weekly TV.   The series ran from 1949 through 1957.  Cowboy stories were very popular at the time, and he struck a chord with many youngsters across the nation.  On TV, he was portrayed by Clayton Moore, while Jay Silverheels portrayed the noble sidekick, Tonto.  The Lone Ranger would save the day – and ride off on his white horse, Silver, saying, “Hi-ho Silver!  Away!” over the William Tell overature.  After which, one of the townspeople would state, “Who was that masked man, anyway?” 

Fran Striker, and George Trendle created a creed for the Lone Ranger and Tonto that Moore and Silverheels tried to embody at all times, knowing that they were role models for all the children who watched their show.  It began with “I believe”…then includes the following:  That to have a friend, a man must be one; that all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world; that God put the firewood there, but that every man must gather and light it himself; in being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for what is right; that all things change, but truth lives on forever.  

Striker and Trendle also created ‘rules’ for how the character would behave:  he would never been seen without his mask; the Lone Ranger always uses perfect grammar and precise speech, avoiding slang; The Lone Ranger never shoots to kill, but rather to disarm; The Lone Ranger never drinks or smokes; criminals are never shown in enviable positions of wealth or power, and they are never glamorous.  The Lone Ranger made the decision to only use silver bullets to remind himself that life is precious, and is not to be wasted.  This is a great iconic American hero, and he is deserving of a fantastic movie.  However, this new one is not it.

Johnny Depp has never liked ‘normal’ and has built his career around bucking it.  Rumor has it he was so fed up with being thought of as the ‘heartthrob’ from 21 Jump Street that he did whatever he could to get out of his contract on that show, including showing up with marbles in his mouth.  Since then, he has done whatever he could to create unique, quirky characters one after another.  That’s all well and good – but after a while, they start to all feel a little similar.  Beginning with the sad and beautiful Edward Scissorhands; and going all the way through Jack Sparrow, new Willy Wonka, Dark Shadows, Sweeny Todd, and Alice in Wonderland. 

When news broke that Johnny was going to star as Tonto in the Lone Ranger movie, a collective groan went up from fans.  You can debate how much of him is or is not actual Native American (he says a great amount) but you cannot debate that he would turn it into a strange quirky character.  Then the first picture of him the in makeup he had chosen for the character turned up.  The groans doubled in volume.   Then came the word of how he and his Pirates director Gore Verbinski were perhaps going over budget with this overblown story.  There was a lot of bad word of mouth before the first trailers came out. 

After the trailer came out, the movie looked better, and started to look interesting.  Unfortunately, it’s not.  The problem is that the movie is way too long, and becomes self-indulgent on the part of Depp and Verbinski. 

The movie begins in a Little Big Man or Young Guns 2 or Posse style of having a really old guy tell the story through flashbacks.  A small child wanders through a wild west exhibit in 1933 San Francisco, and encounters a very old Native American “in his natural environment”.  Turns out he’s alive, and Tonto, and begins to tell the child the story.  Tonto was captured on a train with criminal Butch Cavendish who was on his way to be picked up by rangers to transport him to his hanging.  A lawyer, John Reid,  is also on the train going to meet his brother, Dan – who is leading the rangers.  Well, Cavendish’s gang busts him out, he chains Tonto to the lawyer, and this leads to a preposterous escape sequence.  

There’s also a really long and boring sequence that establishes Tom Wilkinson as the head of the railroad company building the train, and cooperating with the Comanche, and flirting with the ranger’s wife Rebecca – the lawyer’s sister-in-law-who used to be with the lawyer, but is now with the ranger (there is what feels like a half hour sequence in which she picks out a scarf that everyone tells her matches her eyes).  In any case, Cavendish gets loose, the ranger collects a posse and goes after him, taking his brother the lawyer.  The posse rides directly into an ambush – after what felt like 20 minutes of guys-riding-through-landscapes shots.  Everyone is presumed dead.  Tonto happens across the bodies, and a spirit horse (yes, a spirit horse) whom he asks to bring back the ranger, the horse appears to want to bring back the lawyer instead.  He wakes up , realizes everyone is dead – Cavendish ate his brother’s heart while he was still alive – let me repeat that, Cavendish ate the guy’s heart as a way to kill him.  Tonto makes him a mask out of his brother’s vest and says it’s best to use the fact that the bad guys think they’re dead.  

They share a meal of rabbit cooked over an open fire, and dealing with carnivorous rabbits in the desert (what? Oh, because nature is out of balance?  You’re kidding, right?)  They ride into town to get information, leading to a 20 minute sequence in a brothel, and the introduction of Helena Bonham-Carter’s ridiculous ivory-scrimshawed legged madam, Red.  They get the information – it’s all about silver – and there’s a sequence in which Tonto states he’s afraid of cats, and puts a cage on his head (what the hell is going on?) just before escaping an angry mob.  Then the middle of the movie proceeds to drag and drag as the plot involving Cavendish, a silver mine, the railroad, young Tonto, and fake Comanche raids unwinds as slowly as possible.  The woman and her son get captured, she gives him a gun (she gives a kid a gun in a Disney movie!!!)  then climbs through the window of a train to escape, only to get captured again, then try to wrestle the gun away from the kid (you just game him that you idiot!!!)

Then, finally, there is the last half hour of the movie – which is a fantastic action sequence aboard two trains over the William Tell Overature – as it should be.  Honestly, the last half-hour was great!  But the two hours before that?  I wish I could have fast-forwarded.

Verbinski does a good job, but where the Pirates movies (okay, just the first one) felt fresh, lively and colorful, this movie feels dusty, dirty and monochromatic. 

• Armie Hammer is capable as John Reid (the Lone Ranger).  I don’t know that he was good – and it’s not really his fault.  Hammer could become a leading man one day, but maybe in rom-coms, which is a shame, because he has the size and frame for an action hero – but I’m just not sure that ever developed in this movie.  Maybe in the sequel?  Oh no, I really hope not. 

 

• Hammer is overshadowed by Depp, which would be fine, if Depp’s performance was something new and amazing.  However, I’ll be honest, it felt like Native American Jack Sparrow.  From all accounts, this was a huge passion project for him and he really wanted it to be great.  It’s not.

• Ruth Wilson plays Rebecca Reid, the brother’s wife, who apparently used to have a thing with John Reid.  That’s confusing and not presented well, but she also has nothing else to do for the rest of the movie.  Even when she does get some moments – she has to defend her homestead, and escape custody on the train – the movie quickly un-allows that by immediately having her lose the homestead and get re-captured.  It’s almost as if she was trying to break out of the 2 dimensional character box they put her in, and kept failing.

• Helena Bonham Carter plays Red, and has two scenes.  I think it’s just the two.  And yet, all the trailers featured her heavily, and she’s third billed on some of the posters.  I don’t understand that, and I didn’t really understand her character - but on the up-side, it’s tailor made for her.  She even gets to work in her own sad backstory about having been a dancer, but then Cavendish took her leg, resulting in an ivory-scrimshaw artificial leg.

• Tom Wilkinson plays the head of the railroad and is always a little creepy, so – Spoiler Alert!!! – his Shaymalan style reveal as the top villain doesn’t really come as a huge surprise.  In fact, if you’re paying attention to the watch-flip, then you have that figured out in the first 15 minutes of the film. 

• Barry Pepper bizarrely shows up as Fuller, a member of the cavalry, whose allegiance switches so quickly I couldn’t keep up.
• If there is a bright spot in this movie, it’s William Fichtner as Butch Cavendish.  He’s slimy, evil, disgusting, and seems to be the only person in the movie having a good time.  He chews the hell out of every piece of scenery around him, and that dude’s heart.  He’s so good all the time, he deserved a better movie than this.

• James Badge Dale plays the brother Dan Reid, and was on a bit of a roll this year with Iron Man 3 and World War Z.  He’s good in this, and to his credit, is not in it long, so maybe his hot streak is still intact.

• Stephen Root shows up with some ridiculous old west sideburns to try to pump some enthusiasm into the politics of the plot near the end, but to no avail.

The movie ends with super-old Tonto walking away very very very slowly through the desert over the end credits, which is pretty much how the whole movie felt.  It could have been so good, honestly, if it had just been edited tighter, and cut to maybe an hour and a half – it would have played better.  But as it – it’s way over the top, overblown, and pretentious.  So disappointing.  And even more disappointing because of the complete over-hyped marketing campaign.  The Lone Ranger is such a great character, and really deserves a great movie.  I'm sorry that this is not it.

3 out of 10.  Lost points for the cannibalistic, carnivorous bunnies – they had two scenes!  Lost points for everyone wanting to touch Red’s ivory leg, what?  Lost points for being way too long and way too boring.  Lost points for Cavendish eating a heart.  Lost points for giving a kid a gun – absolutely unacceptable in any circumstance in my opinion, and could have been edited out with no issue.  Lost points for Hammer’s character not being enough of a hero, and taking way too long to get to his hero moment.  Gained points for the scene in which Tonto says “Crazy White Man” to a bunch of Chinese rail workers, who all nod knowingly.  Gained points for the spirit horse in the tree wearing a hat (yep, that happened).   Lost points for being the biggest disappointment of the year to date…but don’t worry, the Hobbit 2: the Desolation of Cumberbatch comes out later this year, so I’m sure there will be competition for that title.

Bonus Video 1: Private Resort:  Johnny Depp wants you to forget he made this 80s comedy.

Bonus Video 2:  Silverado - a Western you've probably never seen - but it's one of my favorites.

Bonus Video 3:  Posse - another Western you've probably never seen but you should.  Come on, it has Tone Loc and Big Daddy Kane in it.  And Billy Zane chewing all the scenery as the villain.  And yes, that is Tiny Lister punching a horse in the trailer.

Bonus Video 4:  Cast Interviews: