I consider myself a Fangirl. What does that mean, you ask? A "fanboy" in the most common understanding is a hardcore fan of 'genre' based entertainment in particular. In my case - science-fiction and comic book based movies and television. Because I'm a chick - it's fangirl, not fanboy. There you have it! I am a big movie fan, however, not necessarily a 'film' fan. And now - I have the forum to present my opinions to the public! These will mainly be movie reviews -that will always be my opinion - repeat OPINION. Just what I think, and in no way do I present my opinion as fact. I hope you enjoy and maybe it will help you decide what to see at the movie theater this weekend!
Here's another old review I'm pulling up for your enjoyment of another movie gem that was probably missed. Check it out now that you can stream it somewhere. Originally written 11/20/09.
I have always loved the bad ninja movies from the 80s. There was a time when the Ninja was the go to action villain. My favorites were the American Ninja series -
starring Michael Dudikoff and Steve James (not number 3, because he wasn't in that one, just
1,2 and 4). Incidentally, the entire first movie is on You tube, it's only 83 minutes, check it out. Here is the beach fight scene from American Ninja 2, featuring a beautiful beach, Dudikoff in a short wetsuit, and James in red trunks, oh, and piles of ninjas.
How to update that genre? Well, you make it slicker, faster, 3D, and really pour on the fake blood.
Ninja Assassin is a new movie made by people like me, who love those old terrible ninja movies, but who have
more money for better effects and gallons and gallons of fake blood. The Wachowski
siblings produced it, and they have a very hit and miss past with me (loved
the Matrix, but not the sequels, liked V for Vendetta - didn't bother with Speed
Racer). It's directed by James Mcteigue
(he seems to be a Wachowski property, having previously directed Matrix Revolutions, and Speed Racer).
I will go ahead and sum up the plot for you, but you don’t really need me to;
you can figure it out by the title. An orphaned young boy gets adopted by a ninja clan and trained as an assassin.He meets a girl, then watches his nemesis kill the girl, causing him to
break from his clan. Saddened and alone, he begins hunting them as they hunt him.He then meets an Interpol agent who helps him.So the title works on two levels:he's a ninja assassin, and also an assassin
of ninjas! It's so clever!
The Ninja in question is
played by Rain - yes, just Rain - a stunning Korean pop star, who hasn't done
much of anything here, but is apparently a giant k-pop star.
The Interpol agent is played
by Naomie Harris from 28 Days Later, Miami Vice and Pirates of the Caribbean 2
and 3. The curious thing is that she's British
and in this movie for some reason, she plays American, even though she's
playing an Interpol agent, which is an international organization, so it would
make sense for her character to be British.Things like that weird me out, just let her use her own accent!
Sung Kang from the Fast/Furious series (he was killed in Tokyo Drift, but was definitely in Fast Four earlier this year) plays Hollywood. He has basically a cameo in the very beginning.
The ever beautiful Rick
Yune shows up for 10 minutes at the end as the nemesis just to up the quotient
of handsome Korean men in the movie.
The action is
incredible, there is a fight scene every five minutes and they are all
interesting. They seriously used gallons
and gallons of fake blood, and that's not counting all the CGI fake blood,
which was probably hundreds of virtual gallons.
It was an absolute kick, super fun, and a way to reinvigorate the ninja genre
and make them cool and scary again - after various turtles and power rangers
made them all cute and cuddly. Hooray for ninjas!
9 out of 10. Gained points for bringing the heart on the wrong side thing from the first scene back at the end, even though you knew they would. Lost a point for the accent
thing, that's a weird issue i have. Gained points for Rain being just Rain, and lost points for not enough Rick Yune.
Here’s another old
review I found in the depths of my Facebook page. This was a good little movie that I think a
lot of people missed. Read on, then
check out this movie on Netflix. This
was originally written on February 23rd, 2012. Enjoy!
Maybe you were like
me, saw the trailers for this movie and thought, "But I saw 'Phone Booth'
and it really was 90 minutes of Colin Farrell stuck in a phone booth
while Keifer Sutherland harasses him on the phone. I am not going to see a
movie that is 90 minutes of Sam Worthington on a ledge while Elizabeth Banks
chats him up." Okay - admittedly a justified reaction to the
original trailer. What got me interested were the later commercials that
showed there would clearly be other things happening, not just ledge-work and
chatting. This movie is a simple action-heist 90 minute
popcorn-fest. It's not complicated, it's not heavy, and it has a neat
little twist at the end.
In terms of plot
summary, Worthington plays Nick Cassidy, an ex-cop and current escaped
convict who gets a fancy hotel room in New York City, then threatens
to jump to his death unless Elizabeth Banks's negotiator cop shows
up. Eventually Ed Burns as another negotiator cop and Anthony Mackie
as Worthington’s ex-partner show up to make the situation more
difficult. The whole thing is one part attempt to prove his
innocence and one part cover for his brother (Jamie Bell) and his brother's
girlfriend (Genesis Rodriguez) stealing something from Ed Harris's generic evil
banker-type in the next building over.
The movie is directed
by Asger Leth - who has previous directed The Five Obstructions and Ghosts of
Cite de Soleil (what?). He does a good
job with this movie. Once it gets going, it stays going, maintaining a
brisk pace all the way through. I found myself very into the story and
not sure where it would go next.
Worthington is the
same as he usually is - wooden. Although I will say that he seemed to be
a little more loose and relaxed in this movie than I have seen him
lately. I am sure I will recant that statement when Wrath of the Titans
comes out later this year. He does spend most of the movie on that ledge,
yelling and bargaining and stalling.I
have to say, I’m not entirely sure how they shot this, but he really seems to
be on that ledge.
Elizabeth Banks was better than you expect.She always is, and I think she’s more talented than anyone is giving her credit for.However, if you want to see her at her best - rent The Next Three Days.
Jamie Bell steals
most of this movie as he does almost everything he's in. He is incredibly
watchable - and almost hid his accent through the whole piece, though since
both he and Worthington struggled a bit with that, it just made them seem more
like brothers.
Genesis Rodriguez
doesn’t have much to do but be sassy, which she is pretty good at. Previous to this movie, she has done a bunch
of Entourage episodes.
Anthony Mackie was
very good, and continues to be good in everything I see him in. He did steal the pieces of the movie that Jamie Bell missed. He shows up to be supportive for his
ex-partner…or does he?
Ed Burns plays the
other negotiator, who is not convinced that Elizabeth Banks is the correct
negotiator for the case, but since the guy on the ledge is asking for her, he
gets her.He’s very New York irish-y,
and always great.Check out Confidence
if you haven’t seen it.
Ed Harris's villian
was the same as all the current wall-street type banker villians that are the
current go-to bad guys.
All in all - I really enjoyed this movie! The scenes on the ledge are nerve-wracking and will keep your
heart rate accelerated, especially if you have any vertigo issues. The
action sequences, chase scenes, and the heist piece are all well done and
exciting. It was short, small, low-key in its marketing, and didn't make any promises it didn't live up to, which makes me happy!
7 out of 10 – Gained points
for Jamie Bell, lost points for Genesis Rodriguez being nearly naked for no
reason. Gained points for the big ending
twist, but lost points because I picked up on it very early on - but if you're
not as big a fan of Bill and Ted 2nd Excellent Adventure (where they
play games with Death), and Die Hard 2 as I am - then you won't pick up on the twist,
and the end will really surprise you!
Bonus Video 1: Phone Booth
Bonus Video 2: Elizabeth Banks in The Next Three Days
Pitch Black was a little small budget sci-fi movie released
in 2000 that was directed by David Twohy.
It was a simple story of a transport ship that crashed on deserted
planet. The survivors include a cop and
the prisoner he is transporting who has had eye surgery to allow him to see in
the dark. This becomes very useful when
the planet enters into a month-long eclipse, releasing dangerous predators that
only come out in the dark. The survivors
struggle to find power cells for their ship to get off the planet, and not get
eaten in the process. Also – Cole Hauser
shoots up in his tear duct, for real.
It felt unique and intimate, and was a surprising success
because it was made for so little. It
also helped propel Vin Diesel into pop culture awareness. He had certainly been around before then,
appearing in various films (Saving Private Ryan) and working on passion
projects (he founded his production company, One Race Films, in 1995). Pitch Black was the perfect project for this
larger-than-life action star who then rocketed to success with The Fast and the
Furious in the next year (2001). The
intimate and uniqueness of Pitch Black was wiped away by the complete mess that
was Chronicles of Riddick (2004).
The movie simply out-stretched itself, trying too hard to be
too much. The best part of it was Karl
Urban’s performance as Vaako. Riddick
bumbles around the universe, trying to get home to Furya. In the process, he stumbles across the girl
he met in Pitch Black, a bunch of necromancers, and Judi Dench as some sort of
wind-person. I really cannot explain the
plot more than that. It made no
sense. By the end, the girl had died,
and Riddick was on the throne. The movie left such a sour taste in fans’ mouths that it has
taken 9 years to make another one.
In
the meantime, Vin made a couple of kids movies, some serious movies, and mostly
over-the-top action movies. Some were
good, and some were not. XXX was
terrible, A Man Apart was boring, and the Pacifier was a little insulting. Once he got back behind the wheel of a
Fast/Furious Car with Fast Four (Fast and Furious), things started to look
up. Fast Five was incredible, and this
spring’s Fast Six was completely ridiculous, but left me crazy excited for Fast
Seven, due next year.
For Riddick, David Twohy is back on board, and attempts to
bring back the intimate feel of the original.
We find Riddick where we left him, on the throne, but miserable. He still just wants to get home to
Furya. He sets out with some troops, but
surprise! They betray him and maroon him on a hostile, mostly barren
world.
He contemplates some things, does
some monologue-ing, and basically decides that the mistake he made was getting
civilized, and it’s now time to get back to being feral. He battles some vicious creatures that live
on the planet, learning how to defeat a particularly nasty water-dwelling poisonous
serpent deal while befriending a dog-like stripey jackal thing. He sets out across the planet with his
domesticated jackal at his side, when he finds a bounty hunter station. He seems content to ignore it, until he
notices some storms heading in. That’s no big deal, except the storms wet the ground, and when the ground gets wet, more of those creepy serpent deals (which were hibernating underground) come out to play.
He sets off a beacon,
knowing it will bring in a team of bounty hunters to him, so he can take their
ship and head home. Sure enough, not one but two teams of bounty hunters
arrive. The first is a rag-tag group of
shifty-looking guys, with more firepower than brains. The second group is a bunch of well-trained
professional mercenaries. The leader of
the mercenary group has been hunting Riddick for quite some time, for personal
reasons. The two groups fight each other
for a while, until Riddick starts taking them out one at a time, and they
decide to ‘work’ together. Riddick and
his Jackal (warning: do not get too attached to the Jackal – sniffle) hold them
off for a while, but then the storm gets closer, and he moves in, needing to
get off the planet.
The cast in this is pretty fun:
Vin Diesel again plays Riddick, and while he is absolutely
Dom Toretto, he’s also absolutely Riddick.
He’s quietly rumbly and dangerous.
Whether or not you love him as an actor – you can love him in this
role. The see-in-the-dark eyes are still
creepy, so the goggles and tank-top are beginning to make for an iconic
profile.
Jordi Molla (who I remember from Columbiana) plays the head
of the less organized bounty hunter squad.
He’s slimy and creepy and quite a bit evil. He’s also the reason you should not get too attached
to the Jackal, which is the reason I don’t mind telling you that his end is
fittingly gruesome.
Matt Nable plays the head of the organized merc squad. He’s grim and determined, and has a personal
reason for tracking down Riddick, which I thought played pretty well. He’s an Australian and a former pro-rugby
player whose physicality really suits this role. I don’t think I’ve seen him in anything else,
but I was pretty impressed by him in this.
Katee Sackhoff (new Starbuck) plays Dahl, and is the only
female in the movie, aside from a bunch of naked concubines in the beginning
when Riddick is still ruling, and one escaped convict who lasts about 23
seconds (played by singer Keri Hilson – why?).
You’ve probably heard she’s topless in this – and it’s pretty pointless,
so that was irritating. She does hold
her own, and is swiftly becoming one of the go-to tough chicks in movies today
(thank goodness, I’m sure Michelle Rodriguez and Zoe Saldana were getting
tired). She is a bit one-note in this,
but that one note is badass, which she does well. I would like to throw her in the ring as
Carol Danvers (Ms. Marvel) for the Marvel universe movies; she’d be perfect for
that.
Dave Bautista continues to add to his acting resume by playing
Diaz, one of the bad bounty hunters. He’s
quietly becoming very good, and I cannot wait to see him in Guardians of the
Galaxy. It’s not that he gets to show
any talent in this, he’s basically a henchman, but he makes the most of the
small moments he has.
Bokeem Woodbine surprisingly appears as one of the
professional mercenaries. He has even
less to do – his only major scene involves getting snuck-up-on by Riddick, then
being shocked about it.
Karl Urban does reprise his role as Vaako for one scene, and
that wasn’t nearly enough Urban for me, but I’m sure he’s busy hopefully
preparing a Dredd sequel, and prepping for another average Star Trek
outing.
Overall, it was very fun, very over-the-top, and much closer
to the original Pitch Black then to the terrible Chronicles of Riddick. The effects were well done, and the creatures
were interesting. It’s worth checking
out, just make sure to leave your brain at the door. One thing that did really annoy me was the
constant hitting-on of Sackhoff’s Dahl.
I get that she’s the only woman on the planet, but really guys? Everyone has to threaten to rape her? She beats the shit out of Molla’s character
repeatedly and he continues to insinuate he’s going to hit that. Even Riddick makes a few unnecessary comments
when he encounters the whole group. That
was disappointing. It’s the future,
clearly she’s a capable soldier, back
off that nonsense. It will be
interesting to see if Riddick gets to Furya, and what exactly that place is
like.
8 out of 10. Gained points
for Riddick standing naked on a cliff in the distance during sunset. Very introspective, and symbolic, since he
states it’s time for him to lose civilization and get back to being primal. Lost points for Dahl being topless while
prepping for a mission, no symbolism there, just a PTS. Gained points for the Jackal, that thing had
really cool ears. Lost points for losing
him (he was protecting Riddick). Gained
points for Dave. Lost points for
everyone aggressively hitting on Dahl – including Riddick. Ick.
Bonus Video 1: The
Big Hit – Bokeem Woodbine at his weirdest…and the most insane performance from
LDP you will ever see.
Bonus Video 2: The
Pacifier trailer, if you haven’t seen this…you’re lucky.
Here’s another old review I found, for a movie I really
liked that is now instant streaming in most places – check it out if you haven’t
seen it!
Here's
something you may not know...January and the early part of February is (for the
most part) used by movie production companies as a dumping ground. People
are recovering from the holidays, don't have much money, and don't go to the
movies as much. Also - it's awards season, so the companies have either
re-released or are still pushing everything that has been nominated, most of
those movies were just released in late December, and now have awards-season
buzz, so have a little more 'legs'. So anytime something is a new release
in January - you shouldn't have high hopes. Season of the Witch,
The Mechanic, and the Green Hornet were all in early last year, and Legion was the
year before.
Now,
if you enjoy cheesy bad movies (like I do - I'm watching Snow Beast on SyFy as
I type, and it is delightfully terrible) this is all good news for you, and remember, just because the
production company has no faith in it, does not mean it won't be popular with
the general audience. I just can't think of any examples right now.
So, last weekend was Contraband, this weekend saw the release of Haywire, Red
Tails, and Underworld: Awakening, and next weekend is Man On A
Ledge.
It
is surprising to find Haywire in January - on paper, it should be
excellent. It is directed by Steven Soderbergh (Contagion, The Informant,
Oceans 11,12,13, Traffic, Out of Sight, Solaris, The Good German) and has a
really impressive supporting cast: Michael Douglas, Antonio
Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Bill Paxton, and Channing
Tatum. Apparently Soderbergh saw MMA star Gina Carano fighting and
decided to craft a movie around her. Previous to this movie - her only
on-camera work was the televised fights she had, and a stint as
"Crush" on the re-vamp of American Gladiators. So
her acting experience is basically nothing. In this movie
she plays an ex-marine who is currently working for a privately
contracted security group.
As
far as the plot - she gets betrayed by her employer and looks for
revenge. Simple and sweet. In fact, Jimmy Fallon described it as a
Charles Bronson style movie. Carano excels at the action sequences - any
extended dialogue, and her lack of acting experience shows. The movie
is very slick and very deliberate, to the point of being slow in the
beginning. The music is strange, and seems to distract from the movie
early on, but then starts to fit in an odd way. The coloring is very
deliberate as well, reminding me of Traffic - how each color represents a
different area. The fight sequences are all very well done - and feel
very real - no big flashy martial arts, just concise MMA takedown
actions.
All
the cast surrounding Carano are very good - as to be expected.
Carano
plays Mallory Kane and could easily have a future in movies, she looked
completely at ease in all the action sequences, and with practice, could
eventually look at ease in talky sequences. I have to say that it was
really fantastic to have a female character who is strong just because without
an elaborate man-related reason. She was a marine - period.
Channing
Tatum has a small role as Aaron, and proves once again that there is more to
him that you think there is.He’s
certainly capable, and while he has very little to do, he seems very natural.
Michael
Douglas is always good, and plays Alex Coblenz who seems to be the head of the CIA
or some other government agency.He
exudes carefully crafted sleeze.
Antonio
Banderas plays Rodrigo, and honestly, I would watch a prequel to this that explained
the unique relationship between Rodrigo and Coblenz.He’s perfect in this and has a fantastic
final scene.
Ewan
McGregor plays Kenneth, and it’s pretty understated for him, but certainly diabolical.He manipulates those around him with a
straightforward business sense.When
Kane finally tracks him down on the beach – awesome.
Michael
Fassbender plays Paul, who is the other agent paired up with Kane for their
little assignment.There is an amazing
fight sequence between the two in their hotel room.
The
super fantastic Bill Paxton plays Bill Paxton as Kane’s father.He has some great scenes as Kenneth’s crew
track Kane to his house.
I
really enjoyed how stylized and slick-looking the movie was - but I feel like
that will be polarizing - some will like it, some won't. It also moves
much slower than the commercials made it looks like it does, so that will play
on audiences too. All in all, I really liked it - so much more than I was
expecting, and I liked Carano more than I was expecting as well...Maybe she
will be the next Cynthia Rothrock! And - I can get behind her as Wonder
Woman...if she takes a few more acting classes!
8
out of 10 - really really liked it. Taking away a point for the deer -
and that kid in the car. Added a point for Fassbender (insert penis joke
here - unless you haven't seen Shame yet). Took another point away for an
unnecessary broach flashback. We remember when he handed it to her - it
was like two scenes ago!!
Bonus Video 1: Honor and Glory is my favorite Cynthia Rothrock
movie, unfortunately, I cannot find that trailer for you to be amazed by it's magnificence (sarcasm). But here's the trailer to China O'Brien. You get the idea.
Bonus Video 2: ...and here's some fights from Honor and Glory, so you really get the idea.
Bonus Video 3: Super Cheesy video of Carano on American Gladiators.
The 5 Percy Jackson & the Olympians novels are written
by Rick Riordan with the first one being published in 2005. They center around Percy Jackson, a teenager
who finds out he is the son of Poseidon, god of the sea. He moves to Camp Half-Blood where other
demi-gods are raised, since apparently Greek gods love having kids, but then
never communicate with them. Percy makes
friends and ends up going on some epic adventures. It is very similar to the Harry Potter
series. The first book, Percy Jackson
and the Lightning Thief was turned into a movie in 2010, and was directed by
Chris Colombus, who had directed some Harry Potter films.
It was light and fun and starred Logan Lerman, Brandon T.
Jackson, and Alexandra Daddario, and some fun small roles for big time
actors. They each had one or very few
scenes, making their appearances almost cameos.
Sean Bean, Pierce Brosnan, Steve Coogan, Rosario Dawson, Melina
Kanakaredes, and Kevin McKidd all played supernatural beings, while Catherine
Keener played Percy’s mom. The movie, while
being a mild success here, was a huge success overseas, allowing for the second
book to be made into a movie.
The second movie is directed by Thor Freundenthal (who, as
opposed to being a Viking, which is what you assumed he was when you read that
name, is actually a director of kids movies, including Diary of a Wimpy Kid and
Hotel for Dogs) finds Percy still living at Camp Half-Blood, and still
hanging with Grover, the satyr, and Annabeth (daughter of Athena). Things are going fairly well, except that
everyone at the camp seems to think that Percy’s success in finding the
Lightning Thief last time was a fluke and he’s locked in a bit of a popularity
contest with Clarisse, the daughter of Ares.
Suddenly, the magic barrier protecting the camp (sustained by Thalia’s
tree – a tree that is growing out of the fallen body of Zues’s daughter Thalia)
has come under attack, poisoned. This
means that various monsters can now attack the camp. The decision is made to send a group on a
quest to find the Golden Fleece (which is lost in the Sea of Monsters – what
humans call the Bermuda Triangle). The
group is Clarisse and her cronies, not Percy and his crew. Percy and his pals take off after the fleece
anyway, and encounter some craziness along the way; including Hermes, giant sea
monsters, and a Cyclops with Ron Perlman’s voice.
Much of the cast from the first movie is back – at least on
the kid end of the scale.
Logan Lerman returns as Percy, proving he won’t get swept up
in only being in indie movies like Perks of Being a Wallflower. After all, he was the gamer in Gamer, and the
son in the newest 3:10 to Yuma. He’s
good in this, charming and engaging.
Alexandra Daddario is back as Annabeth, and while I know her
best as “Kate” from White Collar, she has done some other things. She’s pretty and capable. She does a good job being prejudiced against
cyclopses (cyclopsi?) in this movie, until she learns that they are not all
bloodthirsty killers.
Brandon T. Jackson returns as Gover the Satyr. I’m still not clear on why he uses crutches
when in his human disguise, and he does get kidnapped pretty easily. Jackson is all charm all the time and easily
one of the most watchable pieces of this movie.
Jake Abel again plays Luke, the villainous son of Hermes –
spoilers, he was the Lightning Thief in the previous story. He’s very angular, and comes off as very
angry – but his reasons for being angry are never really explained well, I
think he’s just upset his father won’t talk to him. Maybe if I read the books that’s explained
better. Well, in this movie he’s got a
yacht, and some scary pets in his own personal quest to raise Cronos, the king
of the Titans, and father of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades (that’s the exact same
thing Ares was attempting to do in the Wrath of the Titans).
Leven Rambin is new as Clarisse, bossy, bitchy, and
completely full of herself. That is
exactly what you would expect from the daughter of the god of war, so well-done
on her part.
Anthony Stewart Head steps in as Chiron, who he plays as
basically Giles as a Centaur. No
complaints on that, that is what you want to see him do. At no point does he sing.
Stanley Tucci plays Mr. D who is really Dionysus, the greek
god of wine, who is apparently on punishment from Zeus and forced to run the
camp. He’s fun, and throws a bit of the
old Tucci charm into a small role. I did
enjoy that his curse is that he can no longer enjoy wine, every time he pours
it – it turns to water; prompting him to
say to someone, “You know, the Christians have a guy who can do this trick in
reverse.” Clever and very funny!
Douglas Smith plays Tyson, Percy’s suddenly discovered Cyclops
half-brother. The CGI one eye is pretty
effective, and very creepy. I did enjoy
his jovial attitude towards just about everything.
Nathan Fillion is in this movie very briefly and steals the
one scene that he is in. He plays
Hermes, and has a staff with two snakes voiced by Octavia Spencer and Craig
Robinson. He also is running a UPS-like
store for transportation of things here and there. He really seems to enjoy his bit of business
and adds a brightness to the center of the film.
All in all the movie
is not going to win any awards, but it’s certainly entertaining. I have always found Greek Mythology
fascinating, and this is a really clever way to re-invigorate these
characters. I really enjoyed the first
movie, and I really enjoyed this one too.
A simple story, some fun effects, and some good performances – a fun
movie.
7 out of 10. Gained
points for Ron Perlman, even if it was just his voice. Lost points for that crazy spinning obstacle
course thing the kids have to do – that cannot be safe. Gained points for the crazy big sea
monster. Lost points for Clarisse
piloting a confederate warship. Gained
points for the three Stygian Witches (Mary Birdsong, Yvette Nicole Brown, and
Missie Pyle) driving a cab with their one eye.
Bonus Video 1:
Brandon T. Jackson in Tropic Thunder – remember, it’s his performance
that helps to ground RDJ’s crazy.
Bonus Video 2: Logan
Lerman was D’Artangnan in this version of the Three Musketeers (which was not
as good as the one with Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, and Oliver Platt.
