Movie Review: The Hunstman – Winter’s War (PG13 – 114 minutes)

In 2012, the movie Snow White and the Huntsman (which no one was requesting) was released.  It was an attempt to action-up the Snow White story and tell it just a little closer to the original Grimm tale.  It cast Chris Hemsworth as the Huntsman, and attempted to see if Kristen Stewart could get enthusiastic as an armor-wearing, army-leading Snow White.  Spoiler alert – she still sleepwalks through the movie.  You would think the rumored affair with the director would have caused her to have a little more interest in the performance.  The movie was terribly uneven, misusing Sam Clafin, and making the bizarre choice to cast standard-sized humans as the 7 dwarves and then CGI them into the dwarves from the story.  In any case, none of that mattered, because the only reason to see the movie was Charlize Theron as the Evil Queen who stole the movie by vamping her through some amazing costumes and chewing all the scenery.   

I wasn’t sure the movie was all that much of a success, but it did well enough overseas to justify a sequel.  Honestly – I think I prefer this one to the previous one…but not by much.

The movie plays as a prequel-sequel in that it starts with the story previous to the events of the last movie.  We learn how the evil queen Ravenna ascended the throne with the elimination of her husband the king.  We also see how her younger sister Freya was more sweet, kind, and innocent, and doesn’t yet have the magic her sister has, but Ravenna promises her that all the women in their family have it, so eventually her magic will kick in.  Frey falls in love with a prince, and even though he’s promised to another, she gets pregnant, and he promises to leave his betrothed to be with her and their child.  She agrees to meet him in the garden, but while out there – a fire breaks out – and she runs back to her room to see her love standing over her baby’s crib with a torch.  Devastated and furious – her magic definitely kicks in and turns her into an ice queen and she promptly freezes and shatters that guy – then takes an army and wanders north – conquering the lands there as Ravenna established her kingdom in the south.

Freya builds her army by stealing children and raising them as her Huntsmen – teaching them to never love or hold anything dear.  Well, sure enough, the best of her army, Eric and Sara fall for each other and agree to run away together.  This upsets Freya a great deal – and she creates a complicated scenario in which they have to fight their way free, but then get separated by her wall of ice, and Sara sees Eric walk away, abandoning her, while Eric sees Sara get stabbed and die. Harsh punishment.  Eric gets conked on the head and dumped in the river, then we catch up with him later after the events of the first movie have passed.

We learn that Ravenna’s spirit is trapped in the mirror, not really having been defeated in the first movie – and that the mirror is driving Snow White insane, so she sends it away. The Prince recruits Eric, the Huntsman, to escort the mirror to a ‘sanctuary’ – which I can only assume is a large secret vault somewhere full of magical items.  Well, Eric is promptly joined by one of the dwarves from the previous movie and his buddy – then two female dwarves, and finally Sara – who is – spoiler – not nearly as dead as he had thought.  Together, this ragged band of adventures gets the mirror back from some goblins with gold fingers but then are betrayed and lose the mirror to Freya.  Freya sets her sister free, and then is immediately disappointed as she had owned the movie up to that point – but the instant Ravenna shows up, once again Charlize steals the movie and we get a final battle between all parties.

Similar to the first movie, the plot is a little weak, but the visuals are mostly stunning.  I could have done without the dwarves again, but the action wasn’t bad.  I was mystified by the Scottish (?) accents the Eric and Sara were using – I suppose they are ‘northern’ so it sort of makes sense, but they were a little suspect. The movie is directed by Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, and again –looks great, but is pretty weak everywhere else. The cast is great, but most seem wasted or underused – or used wrong.

• Chris Hemsworth as Eric is game to run around with an axe, but the Scottish accent just seems weird. 

• Jessica Chastain plays his wife Sara, who is clearly not dead, and is also a pretty good ‘huntsman’, but again – the Scottish accent was strange.

• Nick Frost returns from the first movie as Nion the dwarf.  Rob Brydon plays his associate dwarf Gryff.

• Sheridan Smith plays Mrs. Bromwyn and Alexandra Roach plays Doreena; the two female dwarves who complete the team – you can guess where that goes.

• Sope Dirisu plays another of Freya’s huntsmen – Tull.  He grows up with Eric and Sara, and is the one tasked with punishing them when they break the rules and fall in love.

• Emily Blunt does a fantastic job as Frey – but the problem with any ice-witch is now comparisons to Frozen.  I thought she was wonderful, and the costumes were stunning.

• But once again – it’s Charlize’s movie.  She’s only in the last half-hour or so and she still completely steals it.  Freya really had the movie up til that point, but Ravenna just sweeps in once freed from the movie and sprinkles evil gold leaf over everything.

Overall, it’s not terrible, but it’s certainly not great. The costumes on the two queens are lovely, and the landscapes are stunning.  The action isn’t bad, and I found the gold-tipped goblins interesting, but we really spend no time with them.

5 out of 10 – hey, at least it looked pretty. 

Bonus – Cast Interviews

Bonus – For some reason I kept thinking about this movie - Ridley Scott's Legend, from 1986.  Hey – don’t touch the unicorn!

Movie Review: 10 Cloverfield Lane (PG13 – 103 minutes)

The original Cloverfield was released in 2008, was produced by J.J. Abrams and directed by Matt Reeves.  It followed a group of New York City partygoers on a night where something attacks the city.  The interesting part is that the movie is essentially ‘found footage’ – the whole thing is seen on the characters’ video camera as they were recording goodbye messages for a friend who was leaving town.  They run through the night, attempting to escape the city – and due to the nature of the camerawork, you don’t really get a clear shot of what is attacking the city until late in the movie.

J.J. Abrams again produces this non-sequel, which is directed by Dan Trachtenberg.  It’s a non-sequel because while Cloverfield is in the title – it’s not really related.  Abrams has stated it’s in the same universe. 

The movie starts with Michelle, a young fashion designer hopeful, as she hurriedly packs a bag and leaves her apartment and her engagement ring.  As she is driving away, she receives a call from ‘Ben’, who strategically lets us know through the phone conversation that they had a fight and she ran out.  She hangs up on him, but then her car is hit and flipped off the road. 

She wakes up in a concrete room, chained to wall with an IV drip in her arm, which is terrifying.  She meets Howard – who is creepy as hell - and learns that he found her and saved her by bringing her back to his….let’s call it a Doomsday bunker…and mending her wounds.  She meets the other resident – Emmett, who seems nice enough.  Michelle learns from Howard that there was an ‘attack’ and that the air outside is no longer safe – but is he telling the truth or is he completely nuts?  Emmett seems to back up this claim, but Michelle is not sure she can trust Howard and attempts to make a break for it.  Once she gets near the door, she sees a woman – her face ravaged by something – who is demanding to get in, but then collapses.  Michelle then starts to believe what Howard is saying, and tries to accept her situation, despite several strange inconsistencies with what Howard is saying.  

That’s about all I’m going to say because the point of the movie becomes whether you believe Howard, or if you think Howard is crazy.  Either way, the movie feels very claustrophobic and the tension builds right up until the end.  I have heard others say that they liked it right up until the end ruined it, and honestly I didn’t mind the end. I felt that it tied up the movie nicely and left it really wide open for more sequels or non-sequels.

• Mary Elizabeth Winstead who was in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – but was even cooler as Mary Todd Lincoln in Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter plays Michelle.  We never really find out what happened between her and Ben, but man, does she stumble into some crazy.  She does a great job as a woman who is first panicked, then grateful to be safe, then growingly wary – and finally back to panicked.

• John Goodman plays Howard, and let me tell you – if you didn’t find him creepy before, then you will after this movie!  He seems trustworthy, but then Michelle starts finding little bits of evidence here and there to the contrary.

• John Gallagher plays Emmet – and he does a good job of seeming pleasantly naïve. He’s just a friendly nice guy who is happy that he’s safe… or is he?

• That’s about it – Bradley Cooper voices Ben on the phone for a minute – but that’s about it.  It’s him because remember, he started out as Will in Alias.

Overall, it’s creepy – it’s weird, it’s short, and it built tension well. You don’t need to check it out on the big screen, but it’s probably worth a rental.  Also – it really has nothing to do with the first Cloverfield, so if you haven’t seen that, it won’t affect your viewing of this.

6 out of 10. Gained points for Emmett being such a nice guy.  Gained points for the shower curtain with the rubber duck on it. Lost points for the pigs.

Cast Interviews:

Retro Movie Review: Purple Rain (1984 – R – 111 minutes)

Prince passed away very suddenly last Thursday at the age of 57. In a year where we have lost far too many brilliantly talented people, this was a particularly hard one to deal with. 

I was fortunate enough to see Prince in concert – something that I am now really grateful for.  My two closest friends and I drove down to the United Center in Chicago in 2012.  The concert started promptly on time with no opening act – he played for two and a half solid hours, then did 5 encores.  And by he, I really mean they – there was a fifteen piece band (seven of which were horns), that Prince conducted throughout the concert, so that if he suddenly felt like changing the playlist, the band went with him.  He had a rack of 12 different guitars, and I think he played all of them.  He took a short break only once, to change out of his bright yellow high-heeled boots into more comfortable bright yellow high-heeled wedges.  He pulled Jennifer Hudson on stage to sing Nothing Compares 2U with him – and yes, while you may know Sinead O’Connor’s version (which is lovely), find a version of Prince singing it – it’s so much more amazing when he sings it.  In any case, it remains the best concert I have ever seen, it was amazing to watch him perform, because you could really see how much he loved the music and the fans.  My favorite memory from the night is when about halfway through the show went Prince headed over to the piano on stage to play a stripped-down version of I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man, a woman in the row in front of us screamed, “He’s going to the piano – HE’S GOING TO THE PIANO!” while running up and down the row.  Exactly the right reaction.

I can’t tell you when I first loved Prince’s music – he just seemed to always be there and always be amazing. His first album was released in 1978, and he basically released an album a year since then.  I was particularly fond of the 1989 Batman soundtrack (tell me you didn’t love Batdance – everyone did).  However, when looking at one movie to review in his honor – there is really no other option than Purple Rain.

Released in 1984 and directed by Albert Magnoli, Purple Rain is a semi-autobiographical movie starring Prince.  He plays the Kid – or just Kid, and the movie begins as he’s already a pretty established performer in Minneapolis with his band, the Revolution, spending most of his time rehearsing and performing at the First Avenue nightclub (I was also lucky enough to get to go to the First Avenue club one night while visiting some friends in Minneapolis, not when Prince was doing one of his many pop-in performances, though).  

The Revolution isn’t quite pulling in the audience like they used to – and a rival band – The Time (headed up by Morris Day) is getting more popular.  Morris is even trying to talk the club owner – Billy Sparks – into replacing the Revolution with a girl group he is creating. 

Two band members in the Revolution – Lisa and Wendy – have written music that they want the Kid to approve, but he’s more interested in only playing his own music.  

He’s also dealing with his parents, and his father routinely abusing his mother. One night, a lovely young woman from New Orleans (Apollonia) comes to the club, wanting to be a singer.  She and the Kid start up a romance, but she also finds herself somewhat pulled to Morris, as he has promised her the lead of her own band.  She buys the Kid a guitar, but tells him she is joining Morris’s band, and he reacts by hitting her – which causes him to be terrified that he’s turning into his father (also a failed musician).  The Revolution has another sketchy show at the First Avenue, while Apollonia’s new group debuts to a great reaction. Billy tells the Kid they have one more chance, but when the Kid gets home - his father shoots himself in the head – severely wounding himself. After his mother accompanies his father to the hospital, Kid has a bit of a breakdown in the house, and stumbles across a pile of music his father wrote.  This serves as the wake-up call – and he turns some things around.  He decides to use Wendy and Lisa’s songs with some that his father wrote. 

The Time has a great set – causing Morris to taunt the Kid – but the Revolution takes the stage, and Kid announces they are going to do a song dedicated to his father, written by Lisa and Wendy, which of course, is Purple Rain.  The emotional performance brings down the house, and the Kid runs off the stage at the end, intending to ride off, however, he realizes the crowd is still reacting, so he comes back in - recommits to Apollonia, and brings down the house at the club, with several encores.  

The plot is really not that complex and the acting is questionable since there are only three actors in the movie (everyone else is a musician), but let’s be real – that’s not why you’re watching this movie. You’re watching for the music – and for Prince’s sexy motorcycle riding.

• Prince plays the Kid – or a version of Prince, and he’s actually not bad in terms of the acting.  In particular, the scenes between the Kid and his father are really touching and well done as the Kid tries to connect to this man who has become a depressed monster.

• Apollonia Kotero plays Apollonia, in a role that was originally supposed to be Vanity playing Vanity. She’s sufficient as a woman who really wants to hit it big – and is a little surprised when she falls for the kid.  Also – that bit about her jumping in to not Lake Minnetonka is still hilarious.

• Morris Day plays Morris Day – and Jerome Benton plays Jerome.  They are pretty hilarious as rivals, and the “who’s on first” style bit about them determining how to alert one another when Apollonia arrives in the club cracks me up.  Prince and Morris were friends in high school and actually had a band called Grand Central prior to Prince starting the Revolution and Morris heading up the Time – both of which were really Prince bands.

• And here's a photo of Morris and Prince in high school - just because.

• Olga Karlatos plays The Kid’s mother, and she does spend most of the movie crying or getting hit.  She does seem to love both her son and her husband, but doesn’t really factor into the storyline much. Apparently she had some scenes that were cut out. Clarence Williams III – yes, from the Mod Squad – plays the Kid’s father.  He’s very tall and intimidating, and more than a little frightening as a man completely on the edge.  There’s never really any extensive background given, we just know he’s a failed musician.  Again – the scenes between he and Prince are very good.

• Everyone else in the movie is playing themselves, Billy Sparks is probably the one who gets the most lines.  And those are all about telling the Kid to step it up and get his life together.

Overall, the movie is very entertaining, and pretty well put together – yes, some parts are cheesy, but hey – what do you want from 1984?  Prince was 25 at the time, and already a seasoned performance veteran.  The movie did win an Oscar for Best Original song for Purple Rain, and yes, Graffiti Bridge, which Prince directed, was a semi-sequel.  Breaking down the movie - I would say 9% of the movie is the motorcycle riding, 72% of the movie are wonderful musical performances, 6% is the Kid flirting with Apollonia, 6% is him arguing with his father, 3% is him not playing Lisa and Wendy’s music, and 2% is Morris Day and Jerome arguing about what the password is, and 1% is Prince talking to a puppet in a cup – or, listening to a puppet in cup. Seriously.

9 out of 10 – it’s a classic, and if you haven’t seen it in a while, or have never seen it – now is the time to track it down and check it out.  All the songs are amazing, and the Purple Rain performance at the end is fantastic.

Bonus - Prince performing at the SuperBowl - in the Purple Rain.

Movie Review: Criminal (R – 113 minutes)

Last year a movie called Self/Less was released – and while it cleverly used a slash in the title, I never got around to it.  Although, I never felt any pressure to see it, because the trailers seemed to show the entire movie. Essentially, Ben Kingsley played an dying billionaire who decides to undergo a suspicious new medical procedure that will insert his consciousness into a younger, more Ryan Reynolds-y body.  Upon insertion, he’s having a great time living it up in his younger body – but then the memories of the younger body start getting in the way, and the billionaire begins to realize that the procedure was maybe not all it was cracked up to be.

Criminal has a similar flavor to that idea. For some reason it also reminds me of the movie Enemy of the State. 

CIA agent Bill Pope is stationed in London, and has been living there with his wife and daughter.  He gets contacted by ‘the Dutchman’, a hacker who has taken over the American Military computer systems and is using them as a hostage to demand asylum.  You see, he’s just escaped the clutches of a Spanish Anarchist who wants the computer program the Dutchman created for himself. 

Bill is going to get the Dutchman out of London when his plan goes awry, and he gets killed by the Spaniard, prior to telling anyone the Dutchman’s location.  The CIA contacts Dr. Franks, a doctor who has been experimenting with memory relocation.  He’s been pretty successful in taking the memories from one rat and putting them in another, and CIA agent Quaker Wells (now that’s an action movie name if I’ve ever heard one), wants him to try it with the recently deceased Agent Pope. 

In order to complete the procedure, Dr. Franks needs a special subject as the host – someone with a frontal lobe injury.  Of course, front lobe injuries are rare, and apparently result in the person being a complete and total sociopath – or psychopath.  They find their candidate in career criminal Jericho Stewart (another great name).  Jericho has no sense of morality or right and wrong.  He’s killed a bunch of people, and is horribly violent. 

The procedure works – mostly, and so now both the Spaniard and the CIA need Jericho to remember where Bill stashed the Dutchman before it’s too late.

That’s really all I’m going to say about it, because I really enjoyed this movie and I think you should check it out.  It is directed by Ariel Vromen, an Israeli director whose last American movie was called the Iceman.  It’s shot with a lot of hand-held camera work, so it’s a bit unsteady here and there, but that does help add to the tension of the story. There’s also a lot of close-ups – especially on Kevin Costner, but again – that seems to serve the story pretty well.  The cast is what sold me on this movie, and was why I went even though I knew almost nothing about it.

• This is definitely a Kevin Costner movie – and I will say that I haven’t seen him this good in quite a while.  He plays Jericho Steward and starts as an absolute villain of the worst sort. Basically, he’s ideal for the procedure because he’s expendable.  Costner is great as a bad guy and doesn’t do it nearly enough.  What is really interesting though is how he masterfully subtly shifts the performance as Jericho starts to be more and more guided by what used to be Bill Pope.

• Gary Oldman is once again excellent as CIA agent Quaker Wells – he’s bound and determined to finish the operation and find the Dutchman, nevermind who gets in the way.  He’s driven and focused.

• Tommy Lee Jones plays Dr. Franks and does a really good job of being quietly concerned almost the entire time.  It’s a really understated, scientific performance, which I really enjoyed.

• Ryan Reynolds plays Bill Pope – but only for a few minutes of hastily running around London avoiding people.  I think that’s where the similarity to Enemy of the State came in – the beginning has a similar feel to the beginning of that movie.  It’s a lot of very tense action.

• Jordi Molla plays the Spanish Anarchist, Xavier Heimdahl.  He’s a bit one-note as a crazy villain, but he’s sufficiently creepy to pull that off in an interesting way.  If you want to see him a little louder and crazier – check out Riddick.

• Gal Gadot plays Bill’s wife Jill Pope.  She’s devastated when her husband died, but has to go through those emotions again when Jericho starts creeping around the house and telling her things he shouldn’t know.  She does a really good job – but I did want her to just kick his ass – Wonder Woman side-effect, I guess.

• Michael Pitt plays the elusive and creepy Dutchman.  He’s also a bit one note – but his note is desperate, so it keeps him interesting.

Overall, perhaps because I wasn’t expecting anything – I was really impressed with this movie. It’s just shy of two hours, and I didn’t feel the length, which is always a good sign.  I will say that I was disappointed in the very last scene.  Personally I think the movie could have had a stronger ending had they chosen to go a different way.  You’ll probably get what I mean, but if you don’t – see it and let me know what you thought of the end!

8 out of 10 – a surprisingly tense little thriller. Gained points for Costner being really good (not something I’d ever though I would say), gained points for Oldman. Lost points for not enough Colin Salmon.  But you know, everything with Colin Salmon has not enough Colin Salmon for me! If you have not Netflixed Master of None yet – do it, if only for the Colin Salmon (although the rest of it is really good too)!

Bonus – cast interviews

Enemy of the State – if you never saw this, go back and watch it – it’s really good.

Movie Review: How to Be Single (R – 110 minutes)

As you know, I have a bit of an issue with most romantic comedies – being a happy, single woman - I hate that rom-coms tend to make that a thing that does not exist, or worse yet, should not exist.  The world of romantic comedies wants us as women to understand that we are suffering and unhappy if we are alone, and we only can find happiness dating a man - almost any man.  Now, I think we can all agree that is utter and complete nonsense, but it does work for the rom-com framework.  In general, most rom-coms stick to the same formula: a meet-cute – the female lead meets the male lead in some ridiculously cute scenario – they date for a while, but just as they are getting serious, some terrible event occurs – and they break up.  Then, just before the end, they get back together because one of them learns a lesson. It’s formulaic – and it works really well for that trope.  Honestly, Trainwreck last year followed that formula but still managed to be outright hilarious from time to time.

How To Be Single from Director Christian Ditter attempts to both follow that formula and break apart that formula - which oddly enough, works in some places and doesn't work in others so - success?  

We meet Alice while she is in college, and dating her serious boyfriend, Josh.  She then decides that she’s only really been with him, and perhaps they need a break to really ‘find themselves’.  After graduating, she moves to New York City to spend more time with her sister Meg, and starts hanging out with party girl/coworker Robin – who shows her around town and introduces her to bartender Tom – who owns the bar that her apartment is over.  Tom is busy interacting with Lucy who spends time in the bar using his wifi to fill out her profiles on multiple dating apps – as she has decided it’s time for her to get married. 

Meg decides she’s ready to have a baby, and does so via a clinic, having no real desire to have a man a part of the situation.  Just afterwards she meets Ken, who is much younger than her, but proves to be very interested in her.  Meanwhile, Alice flirts with Tom, but realizes he’s not a permanent match, she reconnects with Josh to let him know she’s ready to get back together, except that he’s found someone else. She then meets David, a young single father, and they work together for a while until David realizes he’s still not over the issues left from his wife’s death.  Tom eventually realizes he’s into Lucy, but she’s started dating George and decided to marry him.  Alice is just realizing how much of a true friend Robin is when she has to fight off Josh who wants to fool around with her despite getting married to his new girlfriend.  The movie ends with Alice realizing that she’s strong enough on her own and she doesn’t need to chase down love – that it will come to her when she’s ready.

There’s a lot of characters for a rom-com, and a lot of interacting storylines, but really, the movie does a decent job of pulling that off.  The problem I had, and really, the problem I always have with Rom-Coms, is  that the majority of those tons of characters are really annoying.  I did love that this movie allowed the female lead to end up alone, and that she was happy and strong in that decision.   Ditter does a good job with the multiple storylines, and while some of them felt a bit disjointed, it did keep the movie interesting.

• Dakota Johnson plays Alice, and was actually a decent lead for a movie like this.  She’s sufficiently innocent and naïve, but well-meaning. 

• Rebel Wilson plays Robin – who really, they just could have called Rebel.   She just seems to play herself, which is fine, because she is funny.  I especially like the last scene with her where she and Alice realize they are best friends.

• Leslie Mann plays Meg, and I still find her annoying even though this isn’t her husband’s movie.  I thought I found her annoying only in his movies.  She does a good job as Meg, a cynical OBGYN who suddenly realizes she wants children, but she’s best when Meg is confused by Ken’s affection and dedication.

• Allison Brie plays Lucy and this character is the most frustrating in the movie because she’s the stereotypical ‘desperate’ single woman in the rom-com.  Brie finds a way to get a little bit of charm in there, and really once Tom realizes he’s into her, it was nice to see that she had found someone else – a normal rom-com would have had them end up together.

• Damon Wayans Jr. plays David and does a really good job of being handsome, charming, and understated – but also haunted by his late wife.  Just when he thought he was ready to move on – he realizes he’s not quite there.

• Anders Holm plays Tom, and this movie does everything it can to try to convince you that he’s a heartthrob-style leading man.  I’m not sure I buy Anders Holm in that role, but hey – he’s serviceable. 

• Nicholas Braun plays Josh, and again – super annoying, but not his fault – written that way.  Which, of course, means that he does a good job with the material he was given.

• Jake Lacy plays Ken and he is really funny and very charming – he was a bright spot in the movie for me.

• Jason Mantzoukas plays George and he was the other bright spot – I find him hilarious in most movies, and he has a small role here as the man that eventually ends up with Lucy. 

Overall, the movie is a bit long, it could have been about 20 minutes shorter – and does feel disjointed from time to time, but it certainly is a different take on a rom-com, and it was mostly enjoyable.  I really enjoyed the fact that it ended up showing that for a woman - strong friendships are often more important than dating.

6 out of 10 – gained points for her ending up alone and okay with that.

Bonus – Cast Interviews

Extra Bonus – Baggage Claim – a really predictable rom-com that I enjoyed.